Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I said, "Ohh...Daddy was just blowing up balloons."

That of course, was the answer to the used condom question. What else could I say, really?


You know, with everything I have to be grateful for, (you know, like food, clothing, shelter) I can still always find something to bitch about. Here's what's pissing me off today.

My contacts. Within 15 minutes of putting them in, they're like little shriveled tadpoles stuck onto my eyeballs. I can't see through them, and end up giving people really weird looks while trying to peer through the fuzzy spots.

My car. I know it's my fault that I look like I'm driving around the collection wagon for the DI (Salvation Army?) but it still pisses me off. If it were just my stuff, I could keep things under control, but with Sophie and all the shit she brings home between two schools, there's just no fucking way.

My dog. Enough with the licking already.

Dinner: I tried to make a little roast for dinner. But while it was cooking I ate a bag of bagel chips. So 1) I'm not hungry, and 2) the damn thing was pretty much raw. I cooked it for the alloted time, but my meat thermometer's gone missing (WFT?? It's not like a freaking screw driver that you use on whatever miscellaneous project and then promptly loose by putting in it a random drawer or cupboard. It's not like I was cooking a turkey in the garage or anything.) so I didn't really know if it was done. It wasn't, so Sophie ended up eating frozen chicken nuggets anyway, which was what I was trying to avoid by cooking the roast in the first place! I give up.

My daughter: AKA, the biggest drama queen in all the land. Her answer to any form of discipline is to break into tears and sob "Do you HATE me?" Or on the flip side, the lady at the library gives her a crappy free bookmark, and she announces, enraptured, to all present at the check out, "This is absoLUtely the BEST day of MY LIFE." It's exhausting. Lately, we're totally embattled over the cleaning of the room. She's big enough. She can do it. But she just goes in there and wanders around and makes a bigger mess and I am going to snap and go into crazy mom mode one of these days and just throw everything away. (Also, she's picked up Mrs. Hannigan's line from "Annie" and whenever she's mad at anyone, growls out "Kill...Kill...Kill!" Charming, I'm sure.)


NME said...

Is it possible you misplaced your meat thermometer in your collection wagon?

The kids love the drama. Today Noah CRIED because I wouldn't give him strawberries. In the car. In January. No matter how I tried to explain that I don't keep fresh strawberries in my diaper bag - especially midwinter - all I kept getting was "But I really, really want them. Please give them to me." GAH!

JJisafool said...

Nice cover on the rubber.

Liv is the NW reigning drama queen. She's actually broken into tears because she didn't want to get married someday. Or because we turn right in the car when she wanted to turn left (for no reason).

Today was the worst day ever in her life because she lost a stick at outdoor play. A stick.

Yeah, tiring, and pity my poor wife because I'm kinda a drama queen, too.

ciammarino1 said...

I'm sure as most do, I came to your blog by accident, and realize that you are fucking awesome. I've never really gotten into the blog thing, mostly because I have no idea how, and 2, what if people don't read it. That would make me sad. Anyway, I'm gonna get caught up on your blog and read some archives and I'll probably be a regular!!

Darcie said...

Please start blogging at least once a month... it gives me light at the end of my bleak working tunnel.