Pre-Weekend Update

You know--just for a change.

The house selling thing is going ok. We've had TONS of "activity" (I am so learning the realty lingo. For instance, "That buyer seems really interested and will possibly make an offer," means "Ya--we'll never hear from those bastards again.") but no real offers. Part of me HATES being a slave to keeping the house clean, but another part has kind of come to enjoy living in a clean house all of the time. Coming home to made beds and no dishes in the sink is actually kind of lovely. Plus, I've taken to buying some cheep flowers at the grocery store and putting in little vases around the place, and it's nice. But--it is sad to have not done either of these things for myself, and to mainly be doing them for strangers.

In other news, Soph and the across the street friend B aren't getting along. So much so that when B wants to come over, Soph says she doesn't want her to. Since she's getting along with the rest of her friends just fine, I don't really think it's one sided on the Soph side. I just barely told them that if they couldn't get along, B would have to go home, and Soph just smiled, and said, "Good. I want her to." B's response was to storm out the door and slam it. Needless to say, I'm not as worried about displacing Soph from B when we move.

Oh--did you know that when the glue on contact paper breaks down, it smells just like crotch? Did you? I didn't think so. For WEEKS now I've been playing "What's that smell?" in Soph's room. Sniffing around--washing bedding. As the smell was decidedly crotchy, I washed all the dress-ups, as they've been worn by a lot of little bodies, but even after cleaning from top to bottom, her room still smelled of eau-de-cooter. Then a couple days ago, I decided to pull the contact paper off of the high window in her room that I had originally put up when she was tiny so that she'd nap during the day. I discovered that in many places the glue had turned brittle. I also discovered that in the places where this had happened, it smelled like low tide on a hot day.

This weekend we're having our first sleep over. That should be exciting. I'll let you know how it goes.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Having a partner at the grocery store

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
For some reason, I am SO fucking tired of packing lunches.

It's ALMOST official.

My realtor's office came by and did a walk-through of the house yesterday. Unless she's blowing sunshine up my ass, they all really liked it. They did have some "feed back" (which I'm gathering is a realty euphamism for "stuff we don't like") about the "curb appeal" but that's nothing I didn't know.

So now, we just need to sign the contract, drop it by the office, and my sweet little casita will be for sale. (yeah and sigh)

Working together, H (my realtor) and I came up with this little snippet for the "remarks" on the listing.

Step inside and fall in love with the warmth, charm, and detail of this open, solidly built home. Large windows, built-ins, and beautifully refinished floors highlight the interior, and the exterior includes a backyard that is ideal for entertaining with its unique covered patio and mature trees and lawn, plus a second patio off of the living room. Add a partially finished basement with family room and potential for a half-bath, wonderfully established neighborhood, and walking proximity to the best local schools and shopping, and this one is a no-brainer. You’ve got to see it to believe it!

What do you think? Too cheezy? Does it make you want to pay me lots of money for my house?

Family Film Festival

April 5th was the two year anniversary of my blog and I totally missed it. I'm going to have to buy the blog some flowers and a fancy dinner to make up for it, I guess. Probably still won't get any nookie, though.

Now then, onto the film festival.

In an awesome turn of events, Soph watched 2 (well, one and a half) big kid/family movies this weekend. Could it be that we are approaching a time when we can sit down as a family and enjoy a movie all together (instead of our norm veg-time, which is E and Janz downstairs watching Big Trouble in Little China, or similar, Soph watching Strawberry Shortcake, or similar, upstairs, and me on the lap-top playing some inane puzzle game like Chuzzles (or similar) pretending to watch with her.)

You are, I know, dying to know what she watched. So--first, it was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. With all the Scooby and Buffy in the house, HP isn't too freaky for her, although the underwater scene with the merpeople freaked her out, as they were decidedly un-Arial like. She decided they were in fact NOT mermaid, but rather, "evil trout" (name of future band?) and that seemed to reestablish her underwater-creature-equilibrium. We turned off the movie before the maze/graveyard scene, because, well, too creepy for a 4 year old.

THEN she watched The Secret of Rowan Inish. I had ordered it from Netflix as a possible film for the fam to watch together (new member--liking it so far) and E and I watched it one night last week as a kind of preview. I loved it--but strong girl protagonist meets magical force stories are kind of my thing. The story was SO lovingly told, and the green, green Irish isles are such wonderful eye candy, and the magical-realism was crafted to be both magical and real, which I should imagine is tricky. E also liked it and thought the kids would too. The "as a family" thing broke down as on Sunday morning I was in bed with cramps, the laptop, and Angel Season 3--disk 3, but E and the kids watched it and both Soph and Janz were enthralled. Soph would run in my room to give me updates (quasi-spoilers) "Mom! Fiona saw her brother but he sailed away!" "Mom! Jimmy (character in film, not the dog) isn't wearing pants and I saw his wiener!" but she watched the whole thing and had a lot to say about it throughout the rest of the day.

So now I'm on the lookout for family films that suit my particular family. Recommendations are welcome. Nexflix does seem to have a lot to say on the matter, but really I prefer recommendations from real live people.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Have you tried Fruitabu? Delicious organic smooshed fruit. Yummy.

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Growing out bangs

Where there's smoke, there's Jimmy.

I almost set my house on fire. My dog saved the day.

No hyperbole at all intended.

Last night a little before bedtime, and after an early, early dinner, Soph decided she was hungry. Fine. She wanted a hot dog. We didn't have any, but had some bratwurst in the fridge (I know--bad for you, blah, blah, blah), which she decided would do. So I turned on the grill (which had a NEW tank of propane) and came inside. (Catch that foreshadowing?) Now I thought the sausage was fine, but E, who is very sensitive to such things, vetoed the sausage as being past its prime. So I threw a couple chicken nuggets in the microwave (again with the I know, but it did say no trans fats on the bag) and all was well. Soph had her dinner/snack, bath time, story time, and went to bed. E and I caught the new Entourage (entourage? What's with the no caps?) and I went to bed.

Notice the part where I never went out to turn off the grill?

This morning, after I had left for work (after an emergency stop at Walmart to buy a new slip because I couldn't find mine and my skirt is just a little see-through) Jimmy (the dog) apparently started freaking out. Barking and barking at the back door--and would not be calmed by anything.

When E finally went out to see what was up, the grill was smoking, smoking hot, and the ivy growing on the side of OUR HOUSE was ON FIRE.

So--E doused the flames, turned off the grill, praised the hell out of the dog, and called me at work to tell me, very gently I might add, about the calamity--nay the holocaust--that had just barely been averted.

So--am feeling equal parts grateful and dumb as hell. Will be cooking Jim a steak for dinner tonight--in the broiler of the oven. Also, E gets a TOTAL pass for, like, the next 10 dumb things he does. Sheesh. Dumb. Stupid. (Insert other similes as you wish.)

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Who knows? I'm surprised I didn't forget I have one.

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Oh--maybe almost incinerating her?

Territorial Pissings

Selling a house is weird. Yesterday I had 2 people come and look, and it was very, very weird.

First of all, I’ve been cleaning my ASS off. Really. If you look closely, I no longer have an ass. It’s so frustrating how stuff you never noticed begins to pop up everywhere: cobwebs in the corners, fingerprints on the doors, scunge of various kinds in the sinks and in the bathtub.

Secondly, when walking people through the house, I suddenly found myself saying the most ridiculously obvious things, like, “This is the bathroom.” Well dur! Unless we’re trying to disguise the kitchen by tricking it out with a shitter and a tub, I think they probably noticed that already. Then there’s that little salesperson inside who kept pointing out the closet space, new carpet, and whatever other little “awesome” thing that, again, unless these people are blind, they can certainly see.

Finally, I started to feel very irrationally annoyed at questions like, “Are you going to fix the…,” or “Did you know the water heater isn’t….” I felt strangely, and unflatteringly territorial, like a dog must when another dog pees on its lawn. I was like—hey, this is my house, and you can just get the fuck out if you don’t like it. See? It’s mine. I just peed on it, so there. I didn’t really pee on it. But I could have. Because it’s mine.

I don’t know. We don’t even have a sign up yet—have just spread a little word of mouth love around. I’ve seen a few houses that I like with the realtor, (and yes, I did ask if they were going to fix the whatever,) and so I know I could be happy in another space. I’m just not a fan of the process. Some people—like my mom—like to build and sell houses for a hobby. This is not me. The sooner this is over, the better.

Today’s best thing about being a mom:

Soph has coined the word, “cuggle.” It’s a hybrid of “cuddle” and “snuggle” and it means drop everything, sit down, and give me some loves right this very now! When she’s particularly blue, she says, “Mom. Will you cuggle me?”

Today’s worst thing about being a mom:

Explaining the nail polish on the bathroom wall to strangers