Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Territorial Pissings

Selling a house is weird. Yesterday I had 2 people come and look, and it was very, very weird.

First of all, I’ve been cleaning my ASS off. Really. If you look closely, I no longer have an ass. It’s so frustrating how stuff you never noticed begins to pop up everywhere: cobwebs in the corners, fingerprints on the doors, scunge of various kinds in the sinks and in the bathtub.

Secondly, when walking people through the house, I suddenly found myself saying the most ridiculously obvious things, like, “This is the bathroom.” Well dur! Unless we’re trying to disguise the kitchen by tricking it out with a shitter and a tub, I think they probably noticed that already. Then there’s that little salesperson inside who kept pointing out the closet space, new carpet, and whatever other little “awesome” thing that, again, unless these people are blind, they can certainly see.

Finally, I started to feel very irrationally annoyed at questions like, “Are you going to fix the…,” or “Did you know the water heater isn’t….” I felt strangely, and unflatteringly territorial, like a dog must when another dog pees on its lawn. I was like—hey, this is my house, and you can just get the fuck out if you don’t like it. See? It’s mine. I just peed on it, so there. I didn’t really pee on it. But I could have. Because it’s mine.

I don’t know. We don’t even have a sign up yet—have just spread a little word of mouth love around. I’ve seen a few houses that I like with the realtor, (and yes, I did ask if they were going to fix the whatever,) and so I know I could be happy in another space. I’m just not a fan of the process. Some people—like my mom—like to build and sell houses for a hobby. This is not me. The sooner this is over, the better.

Today’s best thing about being a mom:

Soph has coined the word, “cuggle.” It’s a hybrid of “cuddle” and “snuggle” and it means drop everything, sit down, and give me some loves right this very now! When she’s particularly blue, she says, “Mom. Will you cuggle me?”

Today’s worst thing about being a mom:

Explaining the nail polish on the bathroom wall to strangers

5 comments:

twilahub said...

LOL - don't take their critisms sitting down - instead say "That's the difference in a House and a Home, this is a home where people can be themselves and paint the bathroom wall with fingernail polish if they want!" or say "F*** off - don't criticize my house you Jerk!" Either way will stop them in their tracks - hehehe

Katy said...

Find some really obscure artist and say "That mural was done by so'n'so. Don't you think he's brilliant?" Then move along. I hate it when I feel like people are judging my space. I'm sure you handle it with lots more grace than I do.

I miss you too.

NME said...

My heart goes out to you. Having to clean out the house and then walk people through it seems absolutely beastly. I think I might have to die in my house.

Cuggles sound awesome. I am so glad Noah is a cuddler and I dread the day when he won't want to snuggle with me. It's definitely one of my favorite things about being a Mom.

A Man without a Band said...

Hey, just wanted to drop you a line to say that Saturday was excellent. I can't remember the last time I laughed as hard (and today, I'm not 100% sure what all we laughed about, but it was pretty stinkin' funny). Great seeing you guys, and an especially nice bonus of having Craig and Christine (sp?) there.

Oh, and just a head's up... the people who pick up our recycling have a guy working for them who owns an Andean import shop by Ancestor Square in St. George and he is sponsoring a end of the month outdoor bazaar on the last sunday of every month. Music, art, stuff. Might be fun to get a little group down there. I'll have Jennifer forward you the information.

Oh, and Erik, in case you're concerned, no one was offended. Highly entertained? Certainly. Offended? Of course not.

Katiemagic said...

Oh man I feel you on this one. Good luck, and try not to let the negative crap get to you too much (it really fucked with my head).