"My mom says bunkbeds are only for boys"...

... is what the little girl who just came over for the first time to play with Sophie said 10 seconds ago as she walked into Soph's room.

I have a feeling this isn't going to go very well.

UPDATE

The girls had a GREAT time. Great. Actually--it was a play date of 3. Sophie and 2 sisters, age 5 and 8. Playdough--sandbox--and the piece de resistance, a game apparently called "Princess Bum Bum." If you'd like to play, simply gather your friends, take turn calling each other "Princess Bum Bum" and then laugh until you're about to barf.

1st day of summer...

And I'm thrilled. And freaked out.

The entire school year, I excuse myself from tons of shit I SHOULD (a big word in my brain today) be doing, promising to do it during the summer. So here it is. The summer. And all of the shoulds are swimming around in my stomach making me feel like I'm going to barf up my two boiled eggs and a banana.

What I need to do is be grateful that I have a job that gives me this huge chunk of time. I need to look forward to days with my daughter and time to catch up. So why oh why am I feeling almost panicky?

Here's the brain dump of all the "stuff" I've been planning to do. Starting now. (It's probably boring. It won't hurt my feelings if you want to skip it.) Oh. The list is categorized for your convenience.

Cleaning:
Everything. Clean EVERYTHING.

Wipe down all:
walls
floor moldings
wood cabinets
plantation blinds

Dejunk/Organize/Donate stuff in
Closets
Drawers
Cabinets
Garage

Sophie's Room









THROW AWAY CRAP
Go through clothing and give away all sizes under 6
organize book shelf
wipe down bunk bed
put toys, etc. in new labeled bins

Sophie's craft table









Clean it--and make her keep it up, or throw it out

CLEAN MY CAR
because it is truly, truly repulsive. Don't believe me? Look.
































Health/Food
Plan menus for week
Go to the store once a week instead of 3 times a day
Establish a pantry
Increase walk from 45 min to 1 hr

School
Implement completely new filing system
Plan units for all 4 quarters
Help detention center with writing program

Misc
Start recycling. (No curbside here. Seek out options)
Go "up the mountain" at least twice a week
Limit Soph's TV to 1 hr or less every day
Grow Tomatoes
Have sex with my husband at least once a week
Help in Grandpa Cecil's garden enough to justify helping myself to produce at will
Keep toenails painted

I'm sure there are many, many more things that will come to me--but that's at least a start. In addition to the regular daily stuff, I'm tending one of Soph's friends every Tuesday and working for my brother at his jewelry store on Thursdays.

What the fuck am I doing sitting on my ass at the computer? I must begin. Now.


Comment whore wants to know...

What's your summer to-do list? And/or, click on either the picture of my trunk or Sophie's craft table to enlarge it. List everything you can see. Whoever can list the most items wins...something.

Last day of school

This is Sophie on her very first day of kindergarten.

And here she is at her kindergarten graduation program.

(I tried to include a video, but after 3 hours of Blogger trying to upload it, I gave up. p.s. Am I not an excellent French braider?)

I can't believe how the time has gone by, and how much she's changed. It's uncanny what a different little girl she is now compared to 10 months ago.

Frankly, making the adjustment from being the mom of a toddler to the mom of a big kid has been a little rocky for me.

In a lot of ways, it's great--definitely less time consuming. I can take a shower without rushing and listening with bated breath for a crash/wail. I can say, "Get your jammies on and brush your teeth" and she can do it on her own. I don't have to monitor bath time. I drop her off at school, and she walks in by herself. She can pour cereal and put on shoes and put straws in juice boxes and wipe her ass and find her crayons and pick up her messes (in theory). There are a million and five things that she used to need me for. That now she doesn't. And I love that. And I hate it.

I hate that now I'm on the outside of so many things. I don' t know what she's thinking. I can't always sooth the hurts because they are much bigger boo-boos. Kids have started their nasty kid stuff. Calling one another names. Forming clubs that leave others out. Commenting on size and shape. The world has begun to open up in scary ways for her. She's beginning to see the ugliness and meanness. Two of her great grandmas have died--and so questions about death--questions that I do not know the answers to--pop up a lot. (Although she did inform me that as Great Grandma Tee-Tee has been dead for a year now, she is up in the third level of heaven with George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Jesus now. WTF??)

She watches and listens and so many of the things that freak me about about life, the universe, and everything are beginning to freak her out. I feel guilty about this. I've tried to keep my fears to myself, so I don't know if it's me, or just life.

This is a huge topic, and swims around in my brain constantly, and I'm not articulating it very well. So I guess I'll stop trying for now.

Comment whore wants to know...

If you're a parent, how are you making adjustments mentally as your child(ren) grow(s) older? And/or, if not, what's one thing you wish your parents had done differently in your early elementary years?

Why I do what I do (plus an asshole in the peanut gallery)

SEA Graduation

I, of course, am LameTeacher. Having only 1000 characters to work with in the comments was quite a challenge, but I think that ultimately, my point was made.

Don't know why that apostrophe turned into a question mark, but it's really pissing me off.

The end of an era

Soph has been attending the local Montessori school for the past 3 years. A week from Thursday, and that chapter of our lives will be closed. It makes me sad. That little house has been such a big part of our lives, and it's been so great for her. I feel so confident in the foundation she's built there, and know the rest of her education has a very solid place to rest. She has had the same teacher--the most steady, straight forward woman I've ever met--for three years. I don't think she'll ever have that kind of educational stability again.

BUT

I will not be one bit sad to have that extra three hundred smackaroos in the bank every month.

We're also coming to the end of her first year of kindergarten. She climbed in bed with me VERY early on Sunday morning (2ish) in tears because it had really hit home with her (at 2 a.m.???) that she had only 2 more weeks with her beloved Mrs. Wood. I swear to God--this woman was genetically engineered to teach kindergarten. Soph spent literally an hour talking about how much she LOVES Mrs. Wood. I love her too, and will miss her as well, but I will NOT miss Utah's crappy half day kindergarten. Two and a half hours is just barely worth the trouble.

On the flip side, I have her 1st grade teacher all lined-up (one of the MANY benefits of having a grandma as the school secretary) and I think Miss. Bagley is going to be great. She's a little young, but seems very with it. Also, she is so kind to Soph already. In fact, she (Miss Bagley, not Soph) is getting married in a couple of weeks, and sent Soph her very own invitation--which has a special place of honor on the refrigerator.

As for me, I'd give myself a C+ at best this year. My teaching wasn't awful, but I hit a bit of a wall. I'm just ready for the summer, and a chance to go through all my shit, and start fresh next year.

Comment whore would like you to please...

recommend a nice gift for me to give Sophie's teachers at the end of the year. They have both been such a blessing to her--and to me--and I want them to know that they're appreciated.

I hope I'm just depressed.

Really. I hope it's just me. I hope the world isn't really a big shit sandwich ready to explode. And all the bees are disappearing. And I'm terrified for my daughter's future. And people do terrible things to their children. And there's just really no hope. None.

God I hope it's just me.

Koooooodie? Aaaaare you?

When Sophie was three years old, she thought my dear friend Kodi lived in our back yard. Kods lived around the corner, (alas, we have both moved) and basically, when we were in the back yard playing, she was a fixture. So much so, that when Kodi wasn't present, Soph would wander around, looking behind bushes and furniture calling out, "Kodi! [Where] are you?"

Now though, we live on opposite ends of town, and I'm lucky to see her once a month. This blows. In fact, I'm beginning to worry a bit about if she's not ok, or if maybe I inadvertently said something stupid and hurtful and don't even know that she's upset with me.

We did go through a phase when we were first neighbors when shyness got the best of us. I'd call her, wanting to hang out, but for some reason not wanting to really ask. So our conversation would go something like this….

J: Hi. What are you up to? (I hope she says nothing and that she wants to come over.)

K: Oh. Not much. Just watching a snake show on TV. (And I'm kind of bored. I hope she invites me over.)

J: Ok. Well. I was just kind of bored and thought I'd call. (Ok Kods. This is the part where you say you want to come over.)

K: Oh. I'm glad you called. (Ok Becca. Now's the part where you ask me to come over.)

J: All right. Well, I'll talk to you later. (Rats. I guess she doesn't want to come over.)

K: Ok. Bye. (Rats. I guess she doesn't want me to come over.)

I thought we were past this phase. We've even laughed about it together, making fun of how insecure we both are, and why, sometimes, it's hard for adult women to make friends.

But now—it seems like we don't even call. And that makes me sad. Why is it sometimes hard to pick up the phone, send a quick email, or whatever when time has passed between friends? Am I the only one who struggles with this? I don't want to be a pain in the ass if someone is busy, or hibernating, or whatever, but on the other hand, I don't want to be neglectful.

So, I'm going to finish this post, and call my friend Kodi. Or maybe just text her. Because I'm a weirdo.

Comment whore wants to know…

Do you ever feel insecure/shy with your friends? Do you ever wish they would sometimes call and say, "In case you were wondering, I still like you. In fact I love you. I think you're smart and funny and clever and even though we don't see each other very often, you're still my friend"?