Sunday, November 06, 2005

I couldn't make this stuff up.

A little background info...

1. It's a well know fact that I have a mouth like a truck driver. In fact, I could probably outcurse a truckdriver if given the opportunity. Lately, I've been trying very hard to watch my mouth in front of Soph, and as a result, have been using the word "freakin'" a freakin' lot. My little parrot has incorporated "freakin'" into her vocabulary, and uses it almost as much as her mother.

2. Sophie LOVES creams. She calls suntan lotion "sun cream." She always wants to use my face cream. When we go to my mom's house, she loves to poke around in the bathroom drawers looking for different kinds of creams to use and sample.

3. Sophie still wears pull-ups for bed time and nap time. Right now she has a bit of a diaper rash.

So--I came in the living room, and Soph was busily scratching at her nether region. I said, "Sophie--are you ok? Is your bottom sore?" Her answer: "Gosh Mom. I need some freakin' cooter cream!"

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Having stories like this to save up and embarrass the shit out of her when she's a teenager.

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
5:00 a.m. wake up calls--2 days in a row now. It's the weekend for Christ's sake!

14 comments:

rob said...

I rarely chortle at what I read and I never laugh out loud.

I fucking BRAYED.

I brayed.

God dammit.

Jen said...

That FREAKIN' rocks!

lonna said...

Cooter cream indeed. You know because of your blog, Ethan and I say "my freakin' panties". All of the time. People would think we were nuts!

NME said...

I think it's only a matter of time before Sophie has her own late night chat show. She'll make millions.

patrice said...

freakin cooter cream. I don't know if you have those stupid commercials out where you are about invention submission corporation, but if not...allow me to tell you to submit that right freakin now.

Kat said...

Priceless.

Jacques Roux said...

Cooter cream?!?!?! Freakin' brilliant! Out of the mouths of babes...

And don't listen to Rob. He laughs out loud on a regular basis. Particularly at inappropriate times in movies.

Brays, actually. In the right circumstances.

rob said...

Jak - I never laugh out loud at what I read, you freakin' cooter.

But, yes, I do tend to laugh obnoxiously loud...especially during quiet moments in film and theater.

Boy, I'm fun to be around!

KATIEmagic said...

Oh my god that's hilarious. You could totally compile all those into a book called Sophie Says.

shawnak said...

I would totally but the book "Sophie Says" she is freakin hilarious, and I also laughed out loud when I read this!

Kodi said...

So stinkin funny! That girl has natural talent. She needs to do the stand up circut.

amandak said...

Oh dear, laughing so hard the tears are coming out. The setup was perfect and the delivery, well, as fantastic as only Sophie can manage.

Stine said...

My God I just peed a bit.

Nme's right, Letterman better watch out. Oprah is outta there.

Katy said...

And then mom asked me what a cooter was. This story just gets better.