Thursday, October 26, 2006

Take this job and shove it.

Woot!

I've found a rogue computer here in the computer lab where I help/babysit my one independent study class that will let me log on to blogger. Sweet.

Know what? My daughter is a big spoiled brat pain in my ass.

That's right. You heard me. She's a brat. She's spoiled. She's a pain. The pain resides in my ass.

She's not sleeping. She's throwing huge screaming bawling fits every time she doesn't get her way, which is often, as she constantly wants to do things like take the eggs out of the refrigerator and make "egg sauce" (wtf is egg sauce anyway?) in the middle of the living room floor. The last 2 mornings have been tortuous. Tortuous like, "I'm so glad you are going to preschool and that those sorry saps there can deal with you instead of me. I'll be at work all day. See ya!" rather than "Oh my sweet love. Mommy hates to go to work and leave you because I love you so...oh the guilt" tortuous.

Every time she yells at me, I'm giving her a 3 minute time-out in her room. This morning she had 3 time outs between 6:30 and 7:30. The last one was because I wouldn't stop blow drying my hair to tie her up on a chair with her rainbow jump rope while saying "heh, heh, heh."

Night before last she got up like 5 times, the last being at 2:00, and she refused to go to back to bed. I'm talking screaming, kicking, and generally going to bits. Finally at 4 she fell asleep on the couch, exhausted with herself.

Now lately, I am a total skeptic to all things spiritual/religious/whatever. (This IS related to the above. I promise.) But over the last few weeks, the energy (I know--mumbo jumbo) in my house has been bad. Ugly bad. Like I pick up Soph and we both don't really want to go home. It's not just the filth, though that's part of it. After a night of no sleep at all, I was feeling desperate. So yesterday I picked Soph up from school, and we went to The Wizz, the local store for everything from hemp soap to glow in the dark skulls to fairy tarot cards. I consulted with the owner, Sally, and ended up buying a sage smudge stick (bundle of sage tied together.) I went home, lit it up and got it smoking, and feeling very silly, went from room to room, spreading the "sacred smoke," blessing my house, asking that only the "good, pure, and peaceful" remain. Then I put the smudge out in a bowl of salt, and sprinkled the salt around my house, repeating the blessing. I also bought a little dream catcher and hung it above Sophie's bed.

Did it work? I don't know. She slept better, but that may be due to the adult dose of benedryl I gave her before bed. She was back to being her bratty self at 5:30 this morning.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Nothing. Nothing at all.

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
It sucks.

6 comments:

JJisafool said...

Strength, dear, during the trying times. I have intensely disliked my daughter on a semi-regular basis for the last two weeks for many of the same reasons (except the sleeping thing - she's always been a champ-peen sleeper). She told me very accurately last week "I'm not a princess. I'm a drama queen."

Shit, though, you make me laugh when you let loose. Hope it helps that you help me.

~A~ said...

Check you email hon.

patrice said...

it's okay to think your kid's a brat. totally.

did she buy into the dreamcatcher? see if she will. sometimes it's mind over matter. have you thought about things that might keep her up or make her have meltdowns? trent for a while couldn't have caffeine too late at night (like soda) or it'd keep him up. and I found out the hard way that his bedtime was too early because it took him forever to go to sleep...because he wasn't tired yet. now if he's not tired and it is his bedtime, he's allowed to sit in his room and do whatever he wants until he is tired providing it doesn't make noise and that he doesn't intentionally stay up late. we both win.

and...I don't know if this is the right thing to say or not, but...maybe you need to lay down the law? would stiffer boundaries work? you are a laid back and cool mom so I know it's not exactly in your nature. but maybe it'd work for a little while.

and on a completely different tack, I think I told you before about how kids like soph sometimes respond well to explaining. like why it's important for mommy to dry her hair because she has to go to work to make sure there's enough eggs in the fridge to make egg sauce...because if mommy doesn't go to work, the money doesn't come in, and then we all suffer.

and

I don't know. I feel you.

lonna said...

I don't know what to say except that my house is being taken over by an almost three year old brat. Nothing seems to be working at our house either. Dermot has always been a lousy sleeper and now he gets into our bed between 1 and 3 am and we don't even notice until we can't move when we try to roll over or something. For the most part it works for us, but we still don't sleep as well as we would without him there.

Kat said...

I hear you about the energy. The energy in my house changes sometimes for the bad and I find that it's usually because of unspoken issues between my husband and I. I'm not suggesting that, but maybe there's some stress that's being bottled.

Either way, I hope the smudge stick helps.

Stine said...

I think it's great you used a smudge stick. Never underestimate the power of energy and it's effect on one's surroundings. I also think it's great Sally is still at the Whiz.

I hesitate these days to comment on much of anything kid related, but suffice it to say, most parents feel this way about their children to some extent. Give yourself some positive reinforcement as a mother, because you ARE a WONDERFUL and LOVING mother. You're human, it's natural to feel the way you do.