This is me bitching.

2 nights now with fewer than 6 hours of sleep have gone by. And let me just say, if I had the energy, which I do not, I would rip out the trachea (possible?) of anyone who gave me the slightest reason.

I’m having a terrible time falling asleep—and don’t manage to drift off until about 12:00, just in time for Soph to wake me up with various shenanigans. Last night the sound of her bedroom door opening woke me just as I was drifting—you know, that moment in time when you’re falling asleep and the slightest interruption causes your heart and many of your other internal organs to attempt an escape right through your throat? I went looking for her, and couldn’t find her anywhere. She wasn’t in the bathroom, or the living room, or the kitchen. Just when I started to truly panic, I gave the kitchen a more thorough look, and found her, naked, asleep on her belly, on the floor next to the refrigerator. I guess, to her, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It took a half hour or so for her to truly fall back asleep. Apparently, the universe has decided that my optimum sleep hours are between the hours of one and six p.m. Frankly, the universe can shove that idea up its ass, because I am going to truly go crazy if I don’t get some decent sleep.

As for all my news yesterday, with the exception of Patrice’s visit, I’d like to formally complain about all the work involved with the rest of it. New carpet means moving all the crap out of the bedrooms. Also, the ass hats who owned the house before we did did all kinds of crazy stuff to it, so new carpet has necesitated even floors which has necesitated some business with a jack hammer and cement laying (E, not me, of course) which as created quite a mess--all over my new wood floors. New linoleum means taking the toilet out of the bathroom. Remember how I have only 1 potty? I still have no idea how that’s going to work. Don’t get me wrong—I have no major problem with peeing outside, but it’s been around minus 10 or so for the last few nights, and I don’t fancy a pee-cicle forming on my nethers. Plus, not to put too fine a point on it, what if someone has to poop?

The carpet cleaners are going to have to be able to FIND the carpet in the basement. At my house, the basement is “no women’s land.” That is, E and Janz have the run of the place. That + the fact that it’s become a bit of a dumping ground make demucking it a daunting task, to say the very least.

So, I’m telling myself that on Friday, when Patrice is here, the carpets look immaculate, the shitter is reinstalled, and I’m in the middle my second Chardonnay, I’ll look back at today and tomorrow and laugh. At least I better.

Today’s best thing about being a mom:
Well, it’s definitely NOT finding your kid naked on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night.

Today’s worst thing about being a mom:
Not being able to call in the nanny at 12:01 a.m.