Damn these birthdays seem to be coming around more and more quickly.
Today I'm 32.
That means that 2 days ago E turned 33, and in 10 days, Soph will be 5. Sheesh.
Because E had his wisdom teeth pulled recently, and has had some unpleasant complications, his birthday was pretty low key. I did, however, pull off a completely home made triple layer German chocolate cake that was something of a thing of beauty.
As for me, I've been having insomnia for the last several nights, and am feeling pretty zombified today. Currently I'm at work, still filing last year's crap (can't you tell) and later have a lunch date with the folks + Katy.
Frankly--I'm feeling pretty low. School starts any second, and the thought of going back is about as appealing as having a pelvic exam. So, in honor of my birthday and my shitty mood, I present to you:
32 Things I Hate
1. That horrible moment when you first get out of the shower
2. When people put empty containers back in the fridge
3. The unspoken rule that in Cedar City, the guy with the biggest truck gets the right of way at four way stops
4. Yeast infections
5. Sorting laundry
6. Having to fart really bad in public
7. When my coffee gets cold in like 4 seconds
8. Not having a good book to read
9. Filing
10. Trying to buy attractive, work casual, plus size clothing
11. Deciding what's for dinner every night
12. Lower back pain
13. Trying to get out of the car in my garage where I can only open the car door like 5 inches because it is so full of crap
14. Dog hair
15. Putting sheets back on the bed after washing them
16. Ants
17. The movie Rent
18. Chin hairs
19. Going to the post office to buy stamps
20. Angel, Season 4
21. Dusting
22. Squished worms
23. Car maintenance
24. Moldy cheese
25. Running out of things in the middle of a recipe
26. Laying in bed and not being able to sleep
27. When the copy machine prints lines on my copies
28. Pooping in a strange toilet
29. After you eat the the top layer of the movie popcorn and the rest has no salt or "butter"
30. Back fat
31. Armpit fat
32. Getting caught out in public without a tampon and having to do that toilet paper wad thing
So what do you hate? Let's focus on the petty, shall we? Y'all know I'm a comment whore, and it's my birthday, so humor me.
11 comments:
I have to go to work now, but I so wanna come back and do this assignment. Happy Birthday to you my dear.
I hate the way old people get up to go meet their croonies for Breakfast and drive 15 miles UNDER the speed limit when I'm already LATE to work!
Happy Birthday to the whold Fam Damily! Hope it's a good birthday! Also wishing you the best of students all eager to learn this year :)
Happy Birthday, wonderful fake internet friend!
I hate Tim Eyman, Boomer Esiason, people that use "impact" as a verb (the more conjugations, the worse), Ann Coulter, the New York Yankees, the Buffalo Bills, and any little girl that thinks she's prettier than my little girl.
Oh, and our President, and also any time wasted looking at or listening to him.
Oh, oh, wait... and peaches.
Happy Birthday! Hope you have something fabulously fun planned. Mine kind of got shuffled under the mat with the whole childbirthing thing.
I hate acne, my rough dry feet, wearing underwear and not having bras that fit properly.
I hate, in no particular order:
-neck pain
-suddenly discovering goobers of any sort floating in my bath water
-calling the IRS
-nipple hair
-washing sheets and filing my nails ALL. THE. TIME.
-Rob Zombie movies
-missing So You Think You Can Dance
-anxiety
-losing friends and having no say in the matter
-pelvic exams(except in my own bedroom)
-finger spasms
-feeling helpless
-that toilet paper period wad thing you were talking about
-the state of health care in this country
-having no hope
-those little red thing in olives
HAPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY!! you sexy, sexy bitch.
things I hate: missing people's birthdays and being reminded of them in the comments of another friend's blog. having coarse hair. starting new jobs. seafood. perfect women. jealousy. banana flavoring. people who don't pull all the way up to the line at a red light. waving hi to someone frantically and then realizing maybe 5 minutes later that it wasn't who you thought it was, especially at work where you'll see that person again. artificial sweetners. paying bills. worrying. saying goodbye. cleaning the toilet. doing dishes. feeling guilty about vacationing without the kids. not having days off. office jargon.
oh, oh, wait...and peaches.
I for one really like peaches.
I hate:
-Conner
-Finishing a book in a series before the next one is out so I have to wait and wait and wait to find out what happens next.
-Having what I consider a good idea for a book and realizing that I have already started like three books and no I will not start another one until the other BILLION are a little more finished.
-Waking up from good dreams
-Waking up
-The guys on the radio show that wake me up
-My upstairs neighbors pool table
-The Star Wars prequels
-Bananas
-The oven in my apartment
-Filing
-Drinking directly from the glass at restaurants.
I hate:
-cilantro!
-that clothes never fit me well.
-cleaning the litter boxes.
-that people don't use their turn signals.
-would of or could of instead of would have or could have.
-backtalk
-having a child that won't sleep at night
-that I don't have any friends who live near me
-that I don't do anything social without Dermot and Ethan
-that I never get alone time with Ethan
-meat's an easy one, but I also hate that restaurants all assume that vegetarians and vegans love summer squash, eggplant, zucchini, and red and green peppers. I hate all of them and I can't tell you how many places have grilled veggies and pasta as their only option.
Happy birthday guys!
I hate: hypocrisy, not being able to spell, self doubt, lies, intolerance, Miracle whip, heartburn, people who can dish it but can't take it, when friends feel down and I can't do anything about it, feeling out of control of my own destiny.
Ooh, and the episode of Buffy where Spike (swoon) tries to rape her.
Cool, I can answer two posts in one FAIL SWOOP! I hate bacon. I hate Dawn and Tara. I hate sleeping in my hot ass apartment. I hate being bored and alone all the time. I hate Dish Network because I'm too cheap for the next package up and mine doesn't have Top Chef. I hate people who can't read signs or maps. I hate putting clean clothes away. I hate grocery shopping. I hate that it is 11 p.m. and I want to eat ice cream.
But I love you.
I'm late.
I mean...I'm really late.
I think I'm pregnant.
That said, I hate:
1) Morning sickness
2) Split condoms
3) Placeboes
4) Vatican II
5) Barry White
6) The plumber,
7) The milkman
8) And maybe the pool boy
9) Trusting the spermicidal capability of whipped cream...
10) ...thrice
11) Merlot from a box
12) Extacy
13) Merlot from a box
14) Short-term memory loss
15) Peeing on sticks
16) Blue plus signs
17) Waiting to see if a blue plus sign will appear on a pee soaked stick
18) The awkward conversation that you have to make with the plumber, the milkman and, maybe, the pool boy while you're waiting to see if a blue plus sign will appear on a pee soaked stick
19) Tender nipples
20) When the milkman asks what you're writing when you're avoiding awkward conversation with him, the plumber and, maybe, the pool boy
21) When they all read what you're writing over your shoulder
22) When you're being pushed out of your chair
23) I'm Anthony, the plumber, and I never touched this woman! This child isn't m
24) She said that her tubes were tied! She's a lying bitch! This is milkman Larry.
25) ¿Como estas? Mi nombre es pedro. ¿Es usted bastante?
26) ¿Usted tienen gusto del queso?
27) Men
28) Tender nipples
29) Short-term memory loss
30) The plumber,
31) The milkman
32) And, maybe, the pool boy
Happy birthday...
...late.
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