She said: YEEEEEEEE! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!
I said: Sophie, if we don't brush your hair, it will get so tangled that birds will come build their nests in it.
She said: I HATE YOU!!!!
I said: Well--then I guess we'd better go find you a new mommy. Let's get in the car. (She's sure to be in therapy for that one.)
She said: Is Santa real or pretend?
I said: Real baby.
She said: How do the reindeer fly?
I said: They eat magic oats.
She said: I want to go home!!
I said: This will only take a couple of minutes. (This conversation took place on our way into the UPS store. 40 minutes and $20 smacks later, we were done.)
She said: Cut off the crusts!
I said: The crusts will make you big and strong.
She said: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED!
I said: Santa's elves are watching, and they won't bring your Princess Talking Vanity if you don't lay down right now.
I think "good liar" should be part of a mom's job description. My mom told me lies--both white and black, ranging from, "If you keep pouting like that a little bird will come poop on your lip" to "Joseph Smith was a true prophet." The older Sophie gets, the more I seem to lie to her.
If you have kids, do you lie to them? Did your mom lie to you?
Today's best thing about being a mom:
So--we're driving around doing errands with my mom. Soph says to me, "You be an elf. I'll be Soph. You say--have you been a good girl?" So I do. She says, "Yes. Very very good." I say, "Well, I saw you squirting dish soap into Jimmy's water and all over your mom's kitchen floor." She says, "Can I talk to a new one?"
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Shit--this being Santa thing is EXPENSIVE! I realized today that I forgot stocking stuffers. Sheesh.