Wednesday, May 31, 2006


A few things I remember with particular fondness or fury from the last week or so. No order, chronological or otherwise, and no attention paid to such trivialities as complete sentences or continuity in verb tense.

SLC Trip

Erik was giving Sophie horsey rides at the hotel pool on Saturday morning. She decided to name her faithful steed "Penelope." Erik, his manly manliness somewhat offended, suggested, "Dude! No way! How about Blade?" Sophie responded, "No. Pineapple?" E offered, "No--it needs to be something sharp!" Sophie's rebuttal and the final horsey name--"Pineapple Razor."

Sitting in the gym/lunchroom/auditorium at Janzen's middle school. The curtain opens, and he, along with 2 other boys, sitting in the middle of the stage brake out into "Oh What a Beautiful Morning." Janz was miked, as he, unlike his compadres, can carry a tune. A bunch of 5th and 6th graders performing "100 years of Broadway" is, well, it's fucking hilarious. My particular favorite numbers were "Amy, " "Grease Lightning" (the edited version--chicks screaming, not creaming) and "Freedom." After the performance, both of Janzen's extended families hit the playground. It was kind of sweet to see Soph playing with Janzen's "other" little brother and sister, but also a bit sad and uncomfortable.

After hitting traffic, and the 3 phantom potty stops, we were cutting it pretty close to showtime. Sophie suddenly insisted that she had to poop, and NOW. We were stuck in 5 lanes of traffic, no way to pull over. She began chanting, "It's gonna come out!" So--I stuck a cardboard box under her bare butt--and told her to hold on if she could. Luckily--E spotted a Quiznos, and truly pissed some people off changing lanes willy nilly. (The next time someone cuts you off, just tell yourself that they may have a toddler in distress, and maybe the road rage will dissipate a bit.) We made it into the bathroom, but only just. Ultimately, we made the performance on time, but just barely. We sat down, and about 2 seconds later, the curtain went up.

Late dinner at the Macaroni Grill after the show with E's mom and dad, Janzen, Soph, E, and me. 2 hours past Sophie's regularly scheduled dinner, 1 hour past her regularly scheduled bed time. I like to think I'm a fairly laid back mom, but the hours of dinner time and bed time are pretty sacred to me. Sophie crashed across 2 chairs. Our so so so sweet waiter came over with 3 white linen table cloths. He pulled 2 more chairs over, put one cloth across them for a mattress, folded another up for a pillow, and after we laid Soph down, spread the other over her for a blanket. Dude got a TIP.

Memorial Day Weekend

Playing catch with E on Memorial Day. When I was a kid, we played catch all the time in our backyard. I forgot how much I enjoy it. E is a baseball, well, fan isn't the word. He loves to play. Loves the subtleties of the game. Hates the Yankees. So not fan. He's a member of the church of baseball, a la Bull Duram. (That probably makes sense to no one. Side note--although I pretty much hate Kevin Costner and am luke warm toward baseball, I love Bull Duram. If you haven't seen it because of Costner or baseball, you're missing out. Susan Sarandon is fucking amazing in it, and Tim Robbins as Nuke LaLoosh is hilarious and sweet. And the doin' it? One of the best doin' it scenes I've, um seen. If you don't like Bull Duram, well, whatever. We can still be friends, but not peeps.) E taught me to throw a single seam fast ball, and apparently, I'm not to shabby, and had it breaking and everything. GT, and let me tell you, we need them. Being married, as I've said before, is a lot like juggling porcupines sometimes. Can't really explain that analogy. It just rings true.

Impromptu Memorial Day barbecue at my house Sunday night. I have a pretty kick-ass patio and made some pretty pots--shades of yellow and purple: verbena, moss roses, pansies, petunias, and some little daisy looking things. It was chilly, so we didn't spend TOO much time outside. Later, some 5-7 drinks later, we played Imagine Iff. This is a fun one. Anyhoo's your daddy, E believes that most straight men have at least one "gay moment" per day. An example--he finds himself brushing his teeth with Soph's electric Barbie toothbrush, and truly enjoying it. I had just made some comment about his gay moment (can't remember what it was) and his turn came around. In Imagine Iff, you choose a fellow player and answer questions about him/her. E pauses and says, completely innocently, "Well, I haven't done Paul for a while." Much laughter following. (Again, not of the sense making. Sorry)


Soph and Bianca watching Strawberry Shortcake yesterday. The fighting over who got to be Strawberry almost came to fisticuffs. I stormed in and announced, "Neither of you are fucking Strawberry Shortcake!! I am Strawberry Shortcake! If you don't stop fighting right now you are both Huckleberry Pie!!!"

Date with Katy--"Living the Vida Mocha" ice cream soda. Yum.

Ugly Ugly fight with E.


Had E take the mattresses off the frame in order to clean under the bed. I have not done this since moving into this house, some 5 years ago. I would take a picture or make a list, but am just far to mortified. Damn

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Waking up with her arm around my neck, our foreheads touching

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Being informed 2 seconds later, "Eww. Mom--you have breff."


OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

Soph you need to know it's a good thing Mom has breff! (Alternative is undiserable!)

What a politician Soph will make- Pineapple Razor! That is GREATTTT!

Glad show went good - gotta ask did the sing the "ain't no shit, we'll be getting lotsa tit" part of Grease Lightening?

Hope school ended okay and your beginning to rest up!

shawnak said...

I can't wait until our last day of school, which is June 8th for the kids and ummm june 12th for me( we'll see if I realy come in or just start earlier next yr...hmmmm decisions)

Would have loved to see the Grease performance. And yay for not pooping in the car!

amandak said...

Great post. The Strawberry Shortcake story is fabulous. Yay for playing catch! Sounded like big fun, and yes, finding some time for fun in a marriage is crucial. Wish I could have heard Janz sing, mwah. I tried to call you last night, no answer, I'll try again tonight, earlier maybe.

p.s. even though I am making friends here, NOTHING will ever compare to drunken game night at Boo's house, EVER.

Stine said...

That child is so creative, I swear to God. Razor indeed. Well I guess she stepped up to E's goading, good for her.

Ah elementary and junior high school medleys, takes me back. Of course Grease Lighting was a new song when I was in elementary school.

thelyamhound said...

Pineapple Razor is, like, the best band name ever. I'm hearing something in a Japanese noise-pop, like Shonen Knife (only more so) or Melt Banana (only less so).