Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I'm not your mommy.

I have to say this to myself over and over and over every day.

There are so many kids that I "mother" but to whom I (thank Jesus) did not give birth. There are the kids at school. The girl across the street. Janzen--who I love as though I HAD given birth to him, but he has a mother who is doing a fine job.

What am I trying to say here?

I guess that I'm having some boundary issues. Mainly with B--Soph's across the street play friend.

If you've ever come over to my house, chances are you've met B. She's cute as a bug; red THICK curly hair, button nose, grin to melt your heart. The thing is, I'm beginning to think I should be able to add her as a dependent to my taxes this year.

When I buy snacks at the store--I get enough for Soph and B. When we pick up a new coloring book or similar, I automatically grab an extra so that Soph and B won't fight over it.

Do I mind?

Sometimes. See, Bianca's poor mom has 4 other kids. Twin baby boys, a 1st grader and a 3rd grader. Plus, her newish husband has a major life threatening liver disease. Oh. And a pit bull named Princess. All of the above, particularly Princess, have led me to encourage the girls to play at MY house. And I'm glad. It's not that I think B's parents are incapable of watching Soph, but they have quite a crowd over there. And that dog. Lord. I KNOW she's nice and that she knows Soph, but the horror stories you hear about the nice neighborhood pit bull who suddenly chewed off some poor kid's face are just too many.

Also, I feel for the girl. She is surrounded by brothers, her mom works full time, and her new step-dad is pretty much up to his ears. She loves it at my house. And I don't blame her. We have mini pizzas and princess movies up the yang.

I guess what I'm feeling now is a sense of responsibility for this little child, and it sometimes makes me grumpy. When Soph has another friend over, and B knocks on the door, I'd LIKE to say, "Sorry B--Soph has a friend over. Maybe you could come back later." But when I DO say that, her little face crumples and she cries and walks back across the street broken-hearted. So I end up saying, "Come on in. You three better get along or everyone is going home."

It's nice for Soph to have a friend so close by. And in the summer when I can send them outside to play, it won't be such a big deal. Sometimes it just feels like I've sprouted a second child.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Overhearing her brag about me to her friends-- "MY mom is a teacher and she makes COOKIES!"

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Finding balance with your kid's friends

6 comments:

JJisafool said...

You are a damn fine mom.

Ladies like you fed me a lot growing up.

NME said...

Every sitcom family always seemed to have that one neighborhood kid who virtually lived with them. I always thought it would be so cool to be the parents whose house everyone wanted to hang out at. I'm sure the added responsibility can be a bit much but once again I have to take my hat off to you - you rock.

~A~ said...

Warning - it does get worse.

xoxo

and why didn't you share cookies with me. :)

rob said...

B is totally Soph's "Boner" from Growing Pains.

And I just realized the nme said pretty much the same thing, only first.

At least I used the word "Boner".

Heh...boner.

~A~ said...

I'm so sorry for him. (Rob) I really did try to kill him when he was younger so he would say words that the rest of you have to be subjected too.

brothers, ugh

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

Think of it as a part time sister for Soph to fight with but one you can send home for the fight where if it was her "born from your loins" sister you would have to find a way to solve the fight creatively! (not working for you?) How about knowing you are making a difference in B's life that right now one else can feel the need so hang in there and know we are here to vent to!