Sunday, February 18, 2007

A matter of life and death

Me (to self, while driving family back from Zion National Park): Hmmm. I bet it's getting kind of windy in the back seat. I think I'll roll up Soph's window.


E: You just totally rolled up Soph's arm in the window.

Me: (reaching around to back seat with one arm--rubbing Soph's right wrist and forearm with one hand and steering with the other): Oh shit. Oh sweetie. Mommy's so sorry. That was an accident. I didn't know you had your arm out the window. Didn't I tell you not to put your arm out the window? I'm so sorry baby.

E: Jesus Boo!

Me: Don't you give me shit. I'm having a really hard day. I started my period. My Granny died. I'm doing the best I can.

E (patting me on the leg): I'm sorry baby. Are you doing ok?

Soph: A period is a kind of letter that's just a dot. Did you write a letter mommy?

Me: No honey. Ladies say they're having their period when they're menstruating.

E: Or they say they're getting a visit from Aunt Flow.

Me (glaring at E out of the corner of my eye): Or they say, "I'm bleeding out of my vagina." In yoga they say "moon time."

E: What--is there a note on the bulletin board that says, "Don't wear white sweats during your moon time"?

Me: No dummy. You're not supposed to do inversions when your having your period, so they say, "Don't do this pose if it's your moon time."

E: Why do they say that?

Me: Because your period happens at the same time of the moon cycle every month.

E: Kind of like a werewolf.

Me: No. Nothing at all like a werewolf.

E (not picking up on the reckoning that is coming post haste. I mean, really, really clueless): Yes it is! Awesome. It's like, the same time of the moon--just like a werewolf! Plus first you're normal, then you're really mean and... (Voice fades out as he looks over and sees his death in my eyes.)

Me (gritting my teeth): It's just a natural cycle. More like the tides than like a werewolf.

E: Yes. Yes. You're right.

It's been a rough day. This morning after waking up to bloody panties I decided that a change of scenery would do us all good so I rounded up the troops (E, Soph, and Janz), packed a picnic, and headed south for Zion National Park. About 20 minutes down the road, my mom called on my cell and told me that Granny had died. The first thing I felt was guilt. I had told my dad I'd go with him to Logan this weekend, then backed out. Truth? I backed out because going would have been a huge pain in my ass. So--guilt first. Then sadness. I thought about heading back to Cedar, but decided not to, but to try and keep Granny in my heart as much as possible during our day trip.

We had a nice little walk, a nice lunch, and a great visit with our friend who LIVES in the park (she and her husband are rangers). It was one of those days when you feel sad, then laugh and feel bad because you're not supposed to be laughing, then feel sad some more, and then do something else that seems inappropriate in the face of death.

That's about it.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Holding hands while walking down in sunny trail in one of the most beautiful places on earth

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
It SUCKS when you accidentally hurt your kid. Totally sucks. Oh. Also, we were about 20 miles out of Springdale and the last bathroom for about an hour when Soph announced that she had to poop. So I turned the car around, drove all the way back, and the first thing she said when we got out of the car at the gas station was, "Why are we here Mom? Oh look! Can we go pet the horsies?" Damn phantom poops.


NME said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandma. Death always strikes me like that. I always end up feeling sort of sad and guilty that I'm not completely mired in misery.

Werewolf? Erik - how dare you. He's just lucky your fangs didn't come out.

I want to hold hands and walk in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. But remember cut yourself a break - life is about laughter and sadness having both on the day your found out is only right! I'm glad y'all had a good day!

Hey I shut the whole car door on my daughter's hand and there was no thearpy needed in later years so Soph will survive! As for Erik well I'm afraid if he doesn't clue in faster his chances may not be so good! Werewolf indeed! (But I kind of see his point - I did bite peoples heads off once a month and then would change back into the lovable me.......hmmmm I'm thinking.....nope nevermind Erik needs to think things through I'm going with my first instinct!)

~A~ said...

Sorry about Grandma. (((HUGS)))

Zion NP is now high on my Must Hike list thanks to you.

We use moontime here at the house. I just like the way it sounds. We call pads, moon-pads. My Diva cup is just a cup, and we don't talk much about it but to leave it alone.

And I'm going to smack Rob for his Chardonnay comment.

JJisafool said...

Oh, man, I am the king champion of hurting my kid by accident.

When she was about 8 or 9 months, I dropped her (luckily she landed in a wicker laundry basket that was on top of a hamper, so she didn't fall far).

Right after her third birthday, I pinched her chin not once but twice with her new bike helmet. She still winces when I put it on her, and like to tell me that Teacher Francie from preschool NEVER pinches ANYONE.

During one of the snows, I hit her in the face with a big scoop of snow that was supposed to be a little dusting of snow. "Daddy, never ever do that again" over and over.

Then, playing soccer last week, she started crying about the ball bouncing off her knee. I think she may have been drama-queening me on that one.

I think we actually have to pay higher insurance because I watch her.

A Man without a Band said...

Hey. Just surfing around a little on my very quick lunch.

I won't comment on your conversation. Sounds too close to one that might occur in our household, and I had to chuckle a little.

As to a chardonnay, for your tastes, I would probably recommend a pinot grigio, first. Not as dry and a little sweeter, if I recall correctly.

A Man without a Band said...

p.s.- See you tonight at Willie!!!! (and I don't use extra punctuation lightly)

abhishek said...

Saw your complaint on blogrolling. Try out blogLinx. It's a better alternative, that does away with pinging and all that. It updates in the background and is self-explanatory.

Stine said...

I'm so sorry about the granny B. Your post was the best of feeling sad, then laughing, and feeling sad. I'm glad you all got away. My thoughts are with you and the fam.

That was a funny damn convo y'all had.

thelyamhound said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thelyamhound said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother. There's not much more I can say, I'm afraid.

But I have to tell you--and you'd already know this if you'd been watching better movies--werewolves are WAAAY cooler than tides, and, while (ostensibly) fictional, not necessarily less "natural."