Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The earth goes around the sun tra la! And Missuz J turns 31!

At Soph's school, on the kids' birthdays, they sing a little song. First, they put a big orange ball in the middle of the room. Then the birthday kid gets to hold a blown up globe. As the birthday kid slowly walks around the globe, the class sings, "The earth goes around the sun tra la. The earth goes around the sun. The earth goes around the sun tra la and (insert kid's name) turns 1!" Then the birthday kid says what he/she could do when sh/e turned one. (roll over, eat baby food, etc.) This song is repeated, year by year, until the class reaches the kid's current age. Then the kid and class list and celebrate all the things the birthday boy/girl can do now.

I think it's a pretty cool little activity. Unfortunately, having neither big orange ball nor globe nor gaggle of preschoolers at my disposal, I shall have to blog it instead of sing it. I'll skip years 1-30, for your anti-boredom convenience. Now then, ah-hem,

imaginary class: The earth goes around the sun tra la! The earth goes around the sun! The earth goes around the sun tra la! And Missuz J turns 31!

imaginary teacher: So Missuz J--what can you do now that you couldn't do a year ago?

Missuz J: Well, umm, nothing.

imaginary teacher (in a very nurturing and gentle tone of voice): Let's think about it together. You're getting to be a very big girl. Did you learn anything new?

Missuz J: Hmm. Well, just last week I think I invented a new cocktail. See, we were out of vodka, and I wanted a White Russian so I used some old coconut rum we had in the back of the freezer. I call it the White Jamaican. It's pretty delish. At least, I think I invented it.

imaginary teacher (an almost undetectable note of impatience in her still very sweet voice): Hmm. Well, that's nice, but let's keep thinking. Let's think about new things. Did you do anything new?

Missuzj J: Well, I grew two new chin hairs. But I guess that doesn't count. Hmm. I've got one! I watched the entire Buffy the Vampire series for the first time--in like 2 weeks! You should have seen the house. And smelled it. Damn. Have you seen Buffy yet? Want to borrow season one? You really have to give it until the second season for it to really heat up. Now, at first, you'll probably think that Angel is smoking hot, but just hold out. (SPOILER) Soon you'll see that he's just a vampire pussy with a soul who hides out in his apartment when Buffy is supposed to be killed by the Master. Just WAIT until Spike gets the chip put in his head by the initiative and starts tarting around with his shirt unbuttoned, and then, then, in Smashed, oh, my God, he has Buffy up against this wall and you can totally hear her unzip his pants and...

imaginary teacher (her impatience now noticeable): OK! I get the idea. There are young kids here you know. Now, other than cocktails and comic book TV, has ANYTHING happened this year that you're proud of?

Missuz J: Well, I didn't get skinnier, or smarter, or more patient, or more spiritual.

imaginary teacher (condoling): That's ok sweetie.

Missuz J: But you know, I think I am a little happier.

imaginary teacher: Now that's something to be proud of.

16 comments:

Katy said...

Yay! That was cute. And the white jamaican sounds fanfreakintastic. At least, it probably sounds fanfreakintastic to someone who drinks. LeSigh... Anyway, happy birthday to my most fantabulous sister, and I'm glad you're "just a little happier" that counts for a lot. I love you. OOh, and the new template, love that too.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

While your accomplishment is nothing to ignore "Imag Teacher" should have been proud of your invention and (Watching) comprehension! Both were strongly encourage in highschool Science and Enlish teachers everywhere should be applauding your efforts!

As for your being a little happier - if you don't mind I think I might make that my goal each year! (That is if you haven't copy writed it or anything!)

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

Oh yeah I forgot to say "Happy Birthday!"

the beige one said...

YAY, turning 31! Yay feeling happier! HBD, Miss Uz J!

lonna said...

Happy Birthday! I'm glad that you feel a little happier this year. If we all do that every year things would be looking up for all of us.

NME said...

YAY to more happiness! That is a huge accomplishment. A very happy birthday to you. And a belated one to Erik - I've been comment slacking.

patrice said...

happy birthday, my internet gem.

a little happier is all anyone should ever want.

JJisafool said...

Happy Birthday, my fellow lion! Don't take any crap from anyone today (like a Leo would ever do that anyway).

Stine said...

Happy Birthday B. It makes me smile to read your last two sentences.

Didja get the package?

Stine said...

PS - Like the new look of the blog. You and Katie are giving me the redecorated vibe.

Kelly said...

I'll add my birthday wishes at the bottom of a long long list-o-wishes. And then...


Mmmmmm....Spike.

~A~ said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Man, I thought you were the same age as me, but you're not, you're younger. Bitch

Eat much cake, okay.

xoxo

Kat said...

white jamaican? Yum!

Happy birthday!

KATIEmagic said...

mmmmmmm spiiikkeeyyyy. too bad I can't get him for you for your birthday. Oh well have a happy day anyway!

Kodi said...

Happy happy birthday my boo becca. I love you babe. You make me laugh, cry, gloat (when I finally find a game I can beat you at...hello, Quiddler baby)and feel like I'm the funniest, coolest, smartest gal in the world. And I'm totally gonna find you a different birthday present, cuz the one I gave you sucked ass.
Thank you for the birthday blog, and sharing my intimate trampoline secrets with the world. Now everyone knows what an exhibitionist I am. I must say it again, I love you. You make me comfortable hugging people even with crazy space issues. Oh, and by the way, I'm a well kept gorgeous 35 years old.

rob said...

Happy belated birthday, honey bee!

As for the "White Jamaican", I really think you should call it a "UB40".