Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Feeling ever so very not well

What ever happened to women being able to "take to their beds"? I love it in Pride and Prejudice when the crazy mom has an attack of nerves, plops on a floppy sleeping cap, climbs in bed, and rings for tea. Why can't I do that? Can't I complain of the vapors or fantods or something, put on my volumnous lace night gown, and retire to my bed chamber?

Instead, I get to plod through this day. I teach 2 classes today, then go home and tackle such riveting tasks as: washing Sophie's peed on sheets, cleaning up the roll of toilet paper that Jimmy ripped into submission this morning, shopping for juice boxes and feminine hygiene products, and cleaning out the refrigerator before it gets up and walks away.

I really should have servants. Instead, I have the exact opposite of servants. The three other beings that live in my house seem to think that I have too much time on my hands, and need them to help me fill it by emptying Pepsi cans and leaving them for me to find and throw away, finding pencils to chew the leave little shards for me to step on and then vacuum, and make many and varied messes involving jello and or cheese.

The doldrums are in full effect at the Jorgensen house folks.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Reading Dr. Seuss

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
I think I may have inadvertantly promised Sophie a hampster this morning.


OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

OH my gosh - Inadvertantly is still a promise. YUCK - a hampster! Well maybe it will eat the cheese and jello?

I wanted to tell you reading about Sophie makes me miss having kids in the house all the time

Katy said...

They have the special edition DVD of Pride and Prejudice at Costco for 17 bucks. I almost bought it last night cuz I wanted to see the special (like perhaps you can automatically instant replay mr. darcy jumping in the lake over and over) but reminded myself that I'm a poor college student...then spent 60 bucks at old navy. I'm weak. But I got Sophie CUTENESS!

Uhm... sorry you can't ring for tea... you can ring for ice cream though! I am always happy to oblige in ice cream...or cheesecake. I'm easy.

I bought you a funny present. I will come by tonight baring gifts!

patrice said...

wouldn't we all look really great in billowing dresses, too? it would hide, like, everything. I seriously want the bustle to come back.

A HAMSTER? oh dear god. meanwhile, jimmy's like, "a new chew toy!"

Marksthespot said...

Be careful what you wish for: According to an article in American Journal of Old-Timey Medicine, the vapors can be predictive of more serious conditions like dropsy or even consumption.

Try a calmative.

thelyamhound said...

Oh, hamsters and gerbils are easy. Unless they escape their cages, and then it can be problematic. As a young child, I had a hamster named Castle; later on, in the 3rd grade, we got a gerbil I named Hermes.

I found the gerbil (in admittedly foggy hindsight) to be less high-maintenance, in that he was cleaner and less . . . aromatic. Plus they're cuter. Do you think she'd know the difference?

~A~ said...

A hamster? You must be feeling ill. Just don't mention it again and hopefully the thought will vanish from Sophie's head in a week or two or a month, maybe next year. Here it's a guinea pig but I really don't want another critter to take care of. The way I got around it is saying that the bedrooms have to stay spotless for a month. That never happens so I'm in the clear.

But you made me think about my supposed "mama time", that happens at my moontime where I do not do shit but tend to myself. Sipping my herbal tea blends, read, maybe watch some Netflix, do some sewing that's not related to anything. That sort of stuff.

Yeah, it hasn't happened yet, but it sure sounds nice.

But hey, you bought Annie's mac-n-cheese! You get props for that one.

lonna said...

I would love to flop into bed and ring for tea. That really sounds lovely right now. I'm with you on the servants. I would be happy with a monthly maid right now. It just never fucking stops!

the beige one said...

or, you know, buy her an actual hampster and tell her that it was what you thought she wanted.

KATIEmagic said...

I found an old copy of Pride and Prejudice just this morning in our mess of a garage. I think someone might be trying to tell me to re-read the sucker. You know, between the boob sucking.

Blech, I hate the doldrums.

Stine said...

I'm sorry you're feeling icky B. Big virtual hug.

Jello and cheese, that takes me back