Friday, June 03, 2005


The following is a list of things that are currently on the floor at my house. Things that I didn't put there. Things that I have to pick up.

1 mysterious black cord in a clear plastic bag. Maybe it goes to the computer.
1 pink feather boa--denuded of approx. 40% of its feathers. Said feathers scattered about. Too many to count
11 dominoes
1 deflated 4 square (you remember 4 square--right?) ball
2 remote controls--neither of which go to our current tv, dvd, vcr, etc.
5 socks--none of them pairs
1 wooden box that should hold, but is empty of "lace and trace farm animals"
3 dryer sheets
1 pencil
1 piece of green chalk
1 rock--approx the size of a tennis ball, reddish, shaped oddly like the state of Maine
1 blue silky (see picture in previous post)
1 bra (ok, that's mine)
1 piggy bank
1 empty box of Bausch and Bomb alergy eye drops
7 crayons
1 blue block
1 Spider Man birthday invitation (Addendim--10 minutes later. Discovered black scary beetle--alive--under said invitation)
1 automatic car door unlocker to a car we sold 6 months ago (?!)
1 dvd box sans dvd (the life aquatic)
1 fake kids iron/ironing board
3 puzzle pieces to a Dora the Explorer puzzle--don't know where the rest of the puzzle is
1 receipt from Ritz Camera
1 popsicle stick--painted blue and green
1 doll
1 lid to a Cinderella cup--very weird giant lid with Cinderella's head on it
6 pieces to perfection game--very pointy and painful to step on
2 wipes--used by Erik to wipe crayon off the tv last night
1 large dirty rubber band
1 drawing (by me for sophie) of Tender Heart Bear
8 pennies
1 spoon
1 fork (FYI--the fork is across the room from, not next to, the spoon)
1 juice box straw
1 coupon for Rose Art stickers
1 old curled up security plastic thingy from side of Pirates of the Carribean dvd
3 Cabbage Patch Kid magnets
1 pair of flip-flops (directly in front of the front door. NOT MINE!)
2 cd envelope thingies
As you may have already surmised, I am having my period. I am grouchy. I am sick and fucking tired of picking up other people's shit. Friends--this list is just the living room and entryway (and, only the stuff that is on the floor. It doesn't include all the shit under the couches, on the tables, bookshelves and any other flat surface.) If I even start on the bathroom, bedrooms, etc., I will probably end up running screaming through the streets.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
(long pause while thinking) Well-I guess it gives me something to blog about. Though if I weren't a mom, I could probably blog about lovely vacations, a clean house, hobbies, interesting people, etc.
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Refer to above list.


patrice said...

fucking periods. I have mine too.

that is one loooooooooong list. tender heart bear indeed.

amandak said...

I had the conversation this morning with clark trying to explain that I really, truly couldn't stand picking up his trash. Especially when said trash is like less than a foot from the actual TRASH CAN. He reminded me that keeping score is bad for a marriage, and I replied that I know that, and I really truly try not to keep score, but I STILL CAN"T STAND PICKING UP YOUR TRASH!!