Thursday, June 15, 2006

My shitty (at some points, literally) day

6:15 Wake-up call from Soph--who, by the by, went to bed at 10:00 last night. 8 hours of sleep is NOT enough for a 3 year old.
6:15-6:45 Attempt to cajole, soothe, reason with Sophie that her body needed more rest, and try to get her back to sleep.
6:45 Give up, yell at E for waking up Soph while getting ready for work (sorry babe), put in a Care Bears video in the living room, and go back to bed.
7:30 Drag tired ass out of bed, remember that I'm tending Soph's pal A this morning before and after school, and that I've promised the girls a "pajama breakfast party."
7:30-8ish Enlist sweet step-son Janzen to look after Soph, and go to the store to buy eggs, as are out, sausage, strawberries, and mini-muffins.
8ish-9ish (assume "ish" at the end of all times hence forth) Fix breakfast, help Soph set the table
9:00-10:00 Feel very annoyed as A does not arrive, as Soph is hungry, breakfast is getting cold, and Soph will not eat without A. Make one call to A's mom and am assured that A is en route. Janz and I pass time by blowing bubbles for Soph to pop.
10:00-10:30 Eat late, cold breakfast when A arrives (finally) Accidentally consume 2 strawberries and 2 mini muffins because distracted by Capri Sun shenanigans.
10:30-11:40 Let girls take a bubble bath together. Find swimming suits for both as today is water day at school and A's mom (who I love. I really really do love. Just a bad day.) forgot. Dress girls with suits under clothes. Gather towels, sunscreen, etc. Herd girls and Janz into car.
11:45 Drop girls off at yoga camp (coin the phrase yoginni-ettes) and arrange car pool from yoga camp to school which has been pushed from 12:00 to 12:45 as most of students are in yoga until 12:30.
11:45-12:45 Shop with Janz for necessary components to super-terrific-homemade-yet-bitchin' Father's Day gift.
12:45-2:00 Attend counseling session with E which focuses on my lack of self esteem and tendency toward perfectionism. Much bawling by me and supportive patting by E.
2:00-2:55 Go home, feed Janz lunch, work on STHYBFDG with Janz.
3:00 Pick up girls from school
3:05 Arrive home, and, fuck, Bianca is in her front yard, sees the girls, and runs over to play. (Not that I don't like Bianca, but Soph is dead tired and for some reason, those 3 girls turn into screeching messes when they try and play together.)
3:05-3:30 Unload dishwasher, work on STHYBFDG, and assure B's mom that it's no problem for B to play while she does some errands and pray the girls, who are playing in the back yard, will not begin fighting.
3:30 Check on the girls and discover they have industriously moved all of the sand from the sand box into the red wagon. Note that the fighting has begun.
3:30-3:35 Set up the dome tent in the back yard as effort to keep girls from ripping each other limb from limb
3:35-3:50 Ferry cheese and crackers, pb&j, juice, barbies and little ponies out to tent
3:55 intervene, as heard Sophie squealing like howler monkey from in the house. Promise Soph a spank and/or time out if she can't be nice.
4:00-4:15 Bodily remove Soph from tent, and attempt to discuss rationally with her the fact that she cannot expect her friends to want to play with her if she won't let them play with her things. Rational discussion turns into time-out when Soph blows a huge raspberry in my face. Screaming, kicking, hitting. Call A's mom and ask/beg her to come get her daughter.
4:15-4:20 Think longingly of being in a classroom filled with surly teenagers.
4:21 A's mom arrives. One down, 2 to go.
4:22 Bianca announces that she has pooped in her pants.
4:22-4:30 Deal with poop, poop that I am not genetically or otherwise responsible for. Stupid poop
4:30 Break out the big guns--the play, but real, make-up. Tell Soph and B that as long as they don't fight, they can play with the make-up, in Soph's room, for as long as they'd like. Decide I don't actually care if B's mom is ok or not ok with her daughter making herself up as a harlot.
4:30-5:00 Blessed Quiet
5:00 Bianca's mom's jeep pulls into the driveway! Woot! Then... it... pulls... out... and... drives... away... again. WHAT THE FUCK!!!????

update: B's mom returned--at 6:00--after I finally called her cell


the beige one said...


~A~ said...

Okay, I'm confused. She did not pick up her kid?

Damn it, I have to go deal with cub scouts.

Catch me later. xoxo

PS sorry for the shitty day.

You are loved.

amandak said...

Eek, just reading about that day was painful. There is no poop worse than someone else's kid's poop.

patrice said...

is it awful to be laughing real hard at the whole thing? I love this: 4:15-4:20 Think longingly of being in a classroom filled with surly teenagers. nice. the pooping part? you're a saint. and that woman is a complete bitch and you have my permission to do a little turnabout as fair play.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

Hello B's Mom - you did not give your child away - you had a good friend (super duper stupendous friend) who agreed to keep her for you to do a couple of errands - NOT keep her until she called you and made you come pick up your child!

Okay that's off my chest - On to my next tangent: btw you can and should say NO more often- it's not a hard word to say here say it with me NO and again NO. No thank you is also aceptatable Hell NO is also a good word combination to learn when you are dealing with other people as well as your own family. NO I cannot keep your child - I already have an extra and 3 tend to fight would have been understandable to ANY MOTHER even one that has found away to "escape for a few hours".

BTW - can you do me a favor? (this is where you practice our new word)

Katy said...

Yowsers! Even better, Jinkies!!! Uhm, I'm gonna throw it back at ya cuz I can, but BOUNDARIES!! Tell those women to find another baby slave.

Non obligatory're a goddess

Wendy said...

I have a couple of errands to run tomorrow. Can I drop off my 3 boys for a while? They're all toilet trained.

Okay, seriously, that was some day. Yikes.

Jacques Roux said...

This really makes a great argument for birth control.

NME said...

Isn't it wierd to clean up the waste of a child other than your own? It stinks. Literally. I occasionally babysit a neighborhood girl and I am always AMAZED at how badly her pee smells. I keep thinking "What in Sam Hell are they feeding this kid?"

Heather said...

Wow!! What a day!! Dounds like you both were ready for a nap!!