Addendum: After posting the following, I was kind of ripped a new one by one who shall remain annonymous (not you Katy). As a result, I had second thoughts about it, and took it down. I didn't want my words to be misconstrued as either a cry for help, (Which they are not. A cry for help would read more like, "Help! Help!.") or as me trying to be light about something which is kind of, umm, heavy (That would be like, "Hey guys! This 1,000 pound bolder is kind of light!). Here's the thing guys. I'm a bulimic--in recovery. I don't understand totally why this particular disorder parked itself in my life. Surely I couldn't have anything to do with it. In some ways, eating disorders, I think, are harder to kick than, say heroin. When I got off the junk, it was easy. I just said--no more heroin guys--none in the house, no more for the kids, no one bring any home from Albertsons, and we're not stopping by the smack shack on the way home any more either. But with the eating shit, you can't just stop. I tried that too. You have to eat. People around you eat. There is food fucking EVERYWHERE. So--on my current diet, (day 2 now) I slipped. The reason I posted about it is I want to own up to it. I don't want to act like it didn't happen. I know it's not a good choice. There.
So—Blogger is apparently not working at all currently. Only giving myself 15 minutes to blog, so will write this up in Word, and hopefully get it up (he he) later. So—5 minutes per category, food news, Soph news, and misc. Go!
I fucked up my diet 3 times already. But—really—it’s not my fault. Soph has her “Ooey Gooey Science Lab” summer school thing from . So the last two days, I had her out in the world doing shit, and was like, “Fuck! Lunch!” Yesterday we were closest to a fast food joint, and I ended up getting her a hamburger kids meal. Dur. So—about 6 fries and 1/3 of her burger later, I realized what I was doing. THEN after school she remembered that I had promised her, like 3 days ago, that we’d make cookies. DRAT! So—I ate one peanut butter cookie. I did hit the do-over button after the burger debacle (ok—ok—I threw up. But, I am not going to any more.) Today, we were at the grocery store, and I had Soph and her pal Addison—both of whom needed to be fed lunch in the 15 minutes we had before I dropped them off. We hit the deli where I ordered 2! TWO! II! pizza sticks. I opened the bag and the lady at the deli had given us 3! THREE! III! So—yes, I ate the pizza stick, and yes, after I dropped the girls off I hit the do-over button again, but I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT ANY MORE!
So—am currently eating celery stuffed with tuna salad for lunch. Had an egg-white omlett with some tomato and Canadian bacon for breakfast. Yesterday was lettuce roll-ups with turkey and some cottage cheese for lunch—scrambled eggs for breakfast, and teriyaki salmon and broccoli for dinner. I just popped one of those Uncle Ben’s rice bags into the microwave for E and Soph.
Damn. 10 minutes gone. We’ll skip the misc section.
Yesterday when I was trying to get her out the door for something she yelled at me, “But Mom! What about the prophecy!?!?” That was a bit of a stumper. She’s been playing herself crazy—with friends and school and just summer. Yesterday was SO busy. School and swimming lessons and a birthday party. The swimming lessons were not a hit. My sweet sister-in-law took her, and there were tears when I picked her up. Soph is terrified of sinking, apparently. We’ll try again on Wednesday.
Today’s best thing about being a mom:
Have you ever played with Gack? It’s very weird stuff. They made it at school yesterday, and Soph brought some home. The Gack occupied most of my evening.
Today’s worst thing about being a mom:
Realizing that I feed her pretty bad. Badly. Poorly. Less fast food—more slow food, is my goal for the summer.