I put off responding to the 5 songs meme, because although I can sing you all the words to any Disney Princess movie, or song that was played on pop-radio between 1980 and 1993, lately, I just simply haven't been into music--particularly new music. Reading over everyone else's lists made me feel like a super square old bag. So--as the 5 songs I hear most often lately are sung by animated characters--how about 5 songs that I love. I won't say my top 5 favorite songs of all time, because that's just too big of a commitment, but these would easily make it into the top 20 any day.
1. Son of a Preacher Man (Dusty Springfield)
2. Lady Marmalade (Patti LaBell)
3. Lucille (Kenny Rogers)
4. Walkin' After Midnight (Patsy Cline)
5. I Love Rock and Roll (Joan Jett)
I know. Kind of sad.
So--Today Sophie had her biggest temper tantrum to date. We went to the dollar store by our house to buy some fabric softener, and I told her she could have ONE thing. She chose Tender Heart Bear, and then a sand painting mess-in-a-box thing. I said--"You can only have one." She literally went to pieces. Screaming. Kicking. Flailing around. But--I stuck to my guns. After a while, I scooped her off of the floor, (with--as the Dr. told me this morning--a sprained back) put her in the car, and we went home without buying anything. The tantrum continued the whole way home, into the house, and into her bedroom--until she cried herself to sleep.
The poor little bug must be feeling a lot of 3 year old anxiety. I've been laid up for days, and that worries her. We're hitting the potty training thing pretty hard, because of day care. Also, we've started weaning her off of the bottle. (She goes to sleep without it, but when she wakes up in the night, I still let her have one. We'll get there someday.) She's been playing baby A LOT so I'm thinking that she probably is realizing that this being a big-girl thing has both ups AND downs. Many many changes for her to cope with. (Damn--a sentence fragment that ends with a preposition. If the mommy police don't get me, the English teacher police will.)
Today's best thing about being a mom:
This was yesterday--but Sophie told me that she was going to sing me a song to make my back better--and she did! The lyrics were "Feel better mommy," repeated, sung to the tune of the alphabet song.
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
The looks people give you when your child is having a tantrum at the store--and you know what? They can all BITE ME!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Someday, this will be funny, but not today.
If you read the post below, you'll see that 1) my back hurts and 2) I'm feeling blue today.
So, because the universe is an inherently fucked up and malevolent place, here's what happened moments after my last post.
Sophie and I went into her bedroom. She shut the door. The doorknob BROKE. We were stuck in her room, with no way to get out. Of course, she had to pee. So, she peed her pants while I looked around her room, frantic, but trying to appear calm, for some kind of tool to remove the doorknob and free us. Although her room is filthy enough to fulfill any of McGuyver's wet-dreams, there wasn't a screwdriver to be found.
After about 20 minutes, I decided to bite the bullet and attempt to climb out the window. Said window is about 10 inches wide, and although on ground level, fairly high off the ground.
I made it--but not without fucking up my back even more, scraping up my shins, and scaring the bejesus out of Sophie. My back now hurts constantly, whether standing, lying down, or sitting. Fuck this fucking day.
So, because the universe is an inherently fucked up and malevolent place, here's what happened moments after my last post.
Sophie and I went into her bedroom. She shut the door. The doorknob BROKE. We were stuck in her room, with no way to get out. Of course, she had to pee. So, she peed her pants while I looked around her room, frantic, but trying to appear calm, for some kind of tool to remove the doorknob and free us. Although her room is filthy enough to fulfill any of McGuyver's wet-dreams, there wasn't a screwdriver to be found.
After about 20 minutes, I decided to bite the bullet and attempt to climb out the window. Said window is about 10 inches wide, and although on ground level, fairly high off the ground.
I made it--but not without fucking up my back even more, scraping up my shins, and scaring the bejesus out of Sophie. My back now hurts constantly, whether standing, lying down, or sitting. Fuck this fucking day.
Back it up
Damn it. My back is killing me again. Sunday I was pretty much out of commission, and yesterday at school I hobbled around like an old lady. Bending over is agony. Bending over and picking anything up is out of the question, so my usually cluttered house is moving into the truly filthy zone. It's really painful for me to perch on our computer stool--so today will be short.
Soph and I just returned from dance lessons. I think I'm going to find a new place to take her. She's too young and rambunctious for the "Stand on your spot and tap your right toe" kind of dancing they do at "Confidance." What she needs is fun music, and someone saying, "Move your body like you're a raindrop." Plus, today, they measured her for her costume--apparently they do several performances--and they want fifty-five smacks for it! It's this awful shiny red and orange thing trimmed with crazy red feathers on the bottom. I'm not in this for performances and feathers. I just want her to have some fun and get some exercise. Maybe what I need to do is see if I can get her on a toddler hockey team. (JK) That kind of seems more her speed.
All said, I'm feeling kind of partly cloudy today. I'm discouraged that I can't dig in and clean up this place because of my back. I'm discouraged that I don't fit into any of my clothes, and that I gave my "fat clothes" to the thrift store last year. I'm discouraged that neither Erik or I have any time to just be.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Nothing comes to mind. On a stretch, I guess I'll say pudgy arms and legs poking out of a leotard. (sp?)
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Sophie is just full of demands today. I'm tired of trying to teach her manners, and I'm tired of trying to decide what to give in to and what to stand firm on.
Soph and I just returned from dance lessons. I think I'm going to find a new place to take her. She's too young and rambunctious for the "Stand on your spot and tap your right toe" kind of dancing they do at "Confidance." What she needs is fun music, and someone saying, "Move your body like you're a raindrop." Plus, today, they measured her for her costume--apparently they do several performances--and they want fifty-five smacks for it! It's this awful shiny red and orange thing trimmed with crazy red feathers on the bottom. I'm not in this for performances and feathers. I just want her to have some fun and get some exercise. Maybe what I need to do is see if I can get her on a toddler hockey team. (JK) That kind of seems more her speed.
All said, I'm feeling kind of partly cloudy today. I'm discouraged that I can't dig in and clean up this place because of my back. I'm discouraged that I don't fit into any of my clothes, and that I gave my "fat clothes" to the thrift store last year. I'm discouraged that neither Erik or I have any time to just be.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Nothing comes to mind. On a stretch, I guess I'll say pudgy arms and legs poking out of a leotard. (sp?)
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Sophie is just full of demands today. I'm tired of trying to teach her manners, and I'm tired of trying to decide what to give in to and what to stand firm on.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Insert clever title with "seven" in it
Seven things I plan to do before I die:
Sing "Makin' Woopie" on a grand piano at a great night club (a la Michelle Pfifer in Fabulous Baker Boys)
Fit into a pair of size 8 jeans
Sit on a rock at Point Lobos with Mandy
See the city where I was born (Christchurch, New Zealand)
Have a beautifully landscaped yard
Learn to REALLY play the guitar
Watch Sophie become whatever she truly wants to be
Seven things I can do:
Sing "Son of a Preacher Man" like nobody's business
Make pie crust from scratch
Find ways to entertain children at restaurants and in the car
Distinguish between a transitive and intransitive verb
Dance with abandon...if not skill
Engage and teach a room full of at risk-teenagers
Make killer French braids
Seven things I cannot do:
Believe Joseph Smith was a prophet
Sleep comfortably while wearing clothes
Return movie rentals on time
Spell
Acquire a taste for beer (how I've tried!)
Find a chew toy for Jimmy that he likes more than my shoes or Sophie's Care Bears
Learn to let other people have their own shit and not try to fix it or take ownership for it
Seven things I say most often:
Are you shitting me?
Jimmy! No biting!
Sophie--be careful!
Fuck!
That's what you get!
I love you.
Do you need to go potty?
Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
Rebellious spirit (this one has been a problem)
Dreamy eyes
Makes me laugh
Smarter than me (or at least can keep up)
Will be silly
Broad shoulders
Likes to go down
Seven celebrity crushes:
The only two that haven't been listed by everyone else are
Collin Firth
Jon Bon Jovi (On a PURELY physical level)
Seven peeps who I want to do this:
OK--We need some boys to do this, so
(Sorry--I thought you though meme's are/were lame)
The Hound of Bloggerville
although he doesn't have a blog My Husband
And 4 other guys who may read my blog that I don't know.
Sing "Makin' Woopie" on a grand piano at a great night club (a la Michelle Pfifer in Fabulous Baker Boys)
Fit into a pair of size 8 jeans
Sit on a rock at Point Lobos with Mandy
See the city where I was born (Christchurch, New Zealand)
Have a beautifully landscaped yard
Learn to REALLY play the guitar
Watch Sophie become whatever she truly wants to be
Seven things I can do:
Sing "Son of a Preacher Man" like nobody's business
Make pie crust from scratch
Find ways to entertain children at restaurants and in the car
Distinguish between a transitive and intransitive verb
Dance with abandon...if not skill
Engage and teach a room full of at risk-teenagers
Make killer French braids
Seven things I cannot do:
Believe Joseph Smith was a prophet
Sleep comfortably while wearing clothes
Return movie rentals on time
Spell
Acquire a taste for beer (how I've tried!)
Find a chew toy for Jimmy that he likes more than my shoes or Sophie's Care Bears
Learn to let other people have their own shit and not try to fix it or take ownership for it
Seven things I say most often:
Are you shitting me?
Jimmy! No biting!
Sophie--be careful!
Fuck!
That's what you get!
I love you.
Do you need to go potty?
Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
Rebellious spirit (this one has been a problem)
Dreamy eyes
Makes me laugh
Smarter than me (or at least can keep up)
Will be silly
Broad shoulders
Likes to go down
Seven celebrity crushes:
The only two that haven't been listed by everyone else are
Collin Firth
Jon Bon Jovi (On a PURELY physical level)
Seven peeps who I want to do this:
OK--We need some boys to do this, so
(Sorry--I thought you though meme's are/were lame)
The Hound of Bloggerville
although he doesn't have a blog My Husband
And 4 other guys who may read my blog that I don't know.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Oh fuck
11:30--Sophie says she wants a nap. I think-"That's bizarre" but am glad and tuck her in, thinking I must be having a good day.
2:00--Sophie wakes up from her nap. I hug her, and think, "Hmm. She feels kinda hot."
2:03--Reading on ear thermometer-102.3
Afternoon of couch laying, Tylenol, thermometer readings
7:00--Temperature jumps to 104.2
7:15--Hurry to Dr.'s office, (Thank Jesus or whoever for night clinics)
7:45--After endless waiting room wait, Sophie pukes all over smiley-face-scale, herself and me.
8:00--Finger poke test shows a viral infection.
8:30--Sophie tucked in at home with ice water in her bottle after hefty dose of children's Motren.
9:00--Mommy blogs while eating cake (Mom's bday party totally interrupted by sick kid) and decides to go to bed very early, as she'll probably be up all night.
That one looks like George Washington!
"That one looks like an airplane!"
"Oh! It's a mommy one and a baby one!"
"Look mom! It's a snowman!"
No. Sophie and I weren't cloud gazing. I wish. The above comments were all made by Sophie while she was "toilet gazing" -- post poop.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Remember those little cheese and cracker packs mom used to buy at the store if you were good? They're still THE BOMB! Especially when served up by Sophie Gene. She doesn't skimp on the cheese. Of course I should add that while I sit her blogging, she just got the bright idea to paint her toes with the cheese, and let Jimmy lick it off.
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Uttering the phrase, "Don't put Sprite in my shoe!"
"Oh! It's a mommy one and a baby one!"
"Look mom! It's a snowman!"
No. Sophie and I weren't cloud gazing. I wish. The above comments were all made by Sophie while she was "toilet gazing" -- post poop.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Remember those little cheese and cracker packs mom used to buy at the store if you were good? They're still THE BOMB! Especially when served up by Sophie Gene. She doesn't skimp on the cheese. Of course I should add that while I sit her blogging, she just got the bright idea to paint her toes with the cheese, and let Jimmy lick it off.
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Uttering the phrase, "Don't put Sprite in my shoe!"
Monday, August 22, 2005
Out of the mouth of Sophie
"I made a sucker!"
She said this to me, brandishing a very sticky and drippy majic wand, as I lay in the bath tub. I had decided to chance a bath--by myself--while she watched Angelina Ballerina. All was quiet, so I assumed all was well. Big mistake. While I was in the tub, she got into the refrigerator, took out the butterscotch syrup, squeezed it out onto a plate (thank god) and dipped her new sparkly magic wand in it.
"He got the ball!"
Naked Sophie squeezed one of her bouncy balls in her butt cheeks--apparently just seeing if she could. Jimmy decided this was a new and intriguing way to play catch. She was SUPER pissed at me for not letting her repeat this experiment.
"I made samwiches!"
She found some sunscreen laying around (thanks Erik) and squirted it all over her play food--squishing it together, and making, well, samwiches.
"I'm getting ready for the performance!"
This is what she said after I caught her painting her face with watercolors. I was 4 FEET AWAY, doing the dishes, again fooled by the relative quiet, thinking that for once, she was just playing with her watercolors, being good.
(Stretches up to the ceiling, fake yawning) "I had a nice nap!"
After fighting to get her to have a nap for 45 minutes--2 bathroom trips, 1 spanking, one head bonked on the headboard while having a tantrum,--I left Sophie's room, telling her that she was NOT to get out of her bed until she had had a nap. 30 seconds later, she came into the livingroom, and said the above.
p.s. All of these events took place in the past 2 days.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Boredom? Never.
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
The mess "Du jour"
She said this to me, brandishing a very sticky and drippy majic wand, as I lay in the bath tub. I had decided to chance a bath--by myself--while she watched Angelina Ballerina. All was quiet, so I assumed all was well. Big mistake. While I was in the tub, she got into the refrigerator, took out the butterscotch syrup, squeezed it out onto a plate (thank god) and dipped her new sparkly magic wand in it.
"He got the ball!"
Naked Sophie squeezed one of her bouncy balls in her butt cheeks--apparently just seeing if she could. Jimmy decided this was a new and intriguing way to play catch. She was SUPER pissed at me for not letting her repeat this experiment.
"I made samwiches!"
She found some sunscreen laying around (thanks Erik) and squirted it all over her play food--squishing it together, and making, well, samwiches.
"I'm getting ready for the performance!"
This is what she said after I caught her painting her face with watercolors. I was 4 FEET AWAY, doing the dishes, again fooled by the relative quiet, thinking that for once, she was just playing with her watercolors, being good.
(Stretches up to the ceiling, fake yawning) "I had a nice nap!"
After fighting to get her to have a nap for 45 minutes--2 bathroom trips, 1 spanking, one head bonked on the headboard while having a tantrum,--I left Sophie's room, telling her that she was NOT to get out of her bed until she had had a nap. 30 seconds later, she came into the livingroom, and said the above.
p.s. All of these events took place in the past 2 days.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Boredom? Never.
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
The mess "Du jour"
Saturday, August 20, 2005
I need to get out more
This afternoon/evening, Aunty Katy and I went on a little shopping trip. Because the shopping in our fair town is pretty much limited to Wal-Mart, we drove 45 miles south to St. George, our plan being to spend my Pier One gift certificate, find a b-day present for mom, and check out the Petco for some Jimmy toys.
The shopping was fine--uneventful even. Of course, I had a rough time at the pet store--because I'm a novice at shopping for dog stuff, and after wasting 30 minutes of Katy's life looking at squeaky toys, rolly toys, and bouncy toys, I purchased exactly zero toys. (I ended up with a greeny dog toothbrush-thing, and a gum massaging corn starch bone. Also, that dog buffet thing with all the dog treats and cookies and stuff kind of weirded me out. Am I alone in this?)
The true excitement happened when we went to grab a bite to eat before heading home. We went to Fazoli's (Italian food...fast!). I've been there a few times, and when the surly kid at the counter handed me this gigantic hokey puck thing with a number on it, I assumed it was so that whoever was bringing me my linguini could find my table. So there I am, casually contemplating the soda choices while filling my cup with ice, and the weird puck thing goes off like a freakin' roman candle! It's flashing--buzzing, vibrating, and I figure either the sky is falling, or I'm having some weird seizure that's localized in my left hand.
I didn't know whether to shit or go blind! My first impulse was that I needed to put it down--and fast. I took a couple steps toward our table, looking at Katy for some clue as to what the fuck was going on. Of course, I then realized that what I had in my hand was a truly obnoxious device designed to let customers, even catatonic ones, know that their food was ready to pick up. I franticly looked for a button to stop the flashing, buzzing, and beeping, but there was none. So I hurried to the counter, hucked the puck to surly kid 2, and grabbed my food.
This device, in my opinion, is a dire sign about the state of our culture. Surely it wouldn't be TOO much trouble for someone, say surly kid number 3 to bring my food to me? Or perhaps they could give me a number to listen for? Also, are people really so wittless and vacant that they need 3 of their five senses shocked in order to know that their five dollar pasta is ready?
Apparently I was the only one in the "restaurant" who was new to the scary buzzing hokey puck. No one else seemed to be surprised or mind it at all when jolted into action by said device.
I guess I need to get out more.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Watching "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves"
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
While we were shopping, Sophie stayed with my mom. After spending quite a bit of time in the sand box, she complained, as usual about the "sand in crack!" My mom tried to clean up the crack in question with a wipe. However, when we got home, there were still sand issues. Maybe she's trying to make a pearl.
The shopping was fine--uneventful even. Of course, I had a rough time at the pet store--because I'm a novice at shopping for dog stuff, and after wasting 30 minutes of Katy's life looking at squeaky toys, rolly toys, and bouncy toys, I purchased exactly zero toys. (I ended up with a greeny dog toothbrush-thing, and a gum massaging corn starch bone. Also, that dog buffet thing with all the dog treats and cookies and stuff kind of weirded me out. Am I alone in this?)
The true excitement happened when we went to grab a bite to eat before heading home. We went to Fazoli's (Italian food...fast!). I've been there a few times, and when the surly kid at the counter handed me this gigantic hokey puck thing with a number on it, I assumed it was so that whoever was bringing me my linguini could find my table. So there I am, casually contemplating the soda choices while filling my cup with ice, and the weird puck thing goes off like a freakin' roman candle! It's flashing--buzzing, vibrating, and I figure either the sky is falling, or I'm having some weird seizure that's localized in my left hand.
I didn't know whether to shit or go blind! My first impulse was that I needed to put it down--and fast. I took a couple steps toward our table, looking at Katy for some clue as to what the fuck was going on. Of course, I then realized that what I had in my hand was a truly obnoxious device designed to let customers, even catatonic ones, know that their food was ready to pick up. I franticly looked for a button to stop the flashing, buzzing, and beeping, but there was none. So I hurried to the counter, hucked the puck to surly kid 2, and grabbed my food.
This device, in my opinion, is a dire sign about the state of our culture. Surely it wouldn't be TOO much trouble for someone, say surly kid number 3 to bring my food to me? Or perhaps they could give me a number to listen for? Also, are people really so wittless and vacant that they need 3 of their five senses shocked in order to know that their five dollar pasta is ready?
Apparently I was the only one in the "restaurant" who was new to the scary buzzing hokey puck. No one else seemed to be surprised or mind it at all when jolted into action by said device.
I guess I need to get out more.
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Watching "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves"
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
While we were shopping, Sophie stayed with my mom. After spending quite a bit of time in the sand box, she complained, as usual about the "sand in crack!" My mom tried to clean up the crack in question with a wipe. However, when we got home, there were still sand issues. Maybe she's trying to make a pearl.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Numb
A little numb from the first day of school. Just a quick Sophie story.
She and Jimmy and I just paid Kodi a quick visit. Kods gave Sophie a couple of movies to take home--plus, as usual, was extrememly sweet to her during our visit. On our way home, Soph said, "Mom. I fink (no type-o) Kodi loves me much."
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Sharing Sophie with my dear friend Kodi
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Trying to convince her that, no, she will not be growing a weiner when she grows up.
She and Jimmy and I just paid Kodi a quick visit. Kods gave Sophie a couple of movies to take home--plus, as usual, was extrememly sweet to her during our visit. On our way home, Soph said, "Mom. I fink (no type-o) Kodi loves me much."
Today's best thing about being a mom:
Sharing Sophie with my dear friend Kodi
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Trying to convince her that, no, she will not be growing a weiner when she grows up.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Back to school
School starts tomorrow.
As teachers, we've talking about who we know is coming back--sometimes with a smile, sometimes cringing a bit. The kids have started to trickle in to say hello--although next week, those same kids will tell us the last place they want to be is at school. 2 students who graduated last year came by to see me. One to introduce me to his girlfriend--and let me know that he's going to be a dad in 7 months. One to just shoot the shit and then bum a ride.
My room is as done as it's going to get for now. I've hung the posters I made this summer that have all the punctuation rules on them. I've rearranged the desks 4 times. We don't have a custodian--just a "sweeper" so I've spent several hours dusting, washing walls and desks, vacuuming. Over the summer, something VERY unpleasant happened in the toilet. I don't know what or how, but I dumped a gallon of bleach in there yesterday and at least whatever it is doesn't seem to be growing anymore.
So--say a little prayer for me tomorrow. It's back to school time.
As teachers, we've talking about who we know is coming back--sometimes with a smile, sometimes cringing a bit. The kids have started to trickle in to say hello--although next week, those same kids will tell us the last place they want to be is at school. 2 students who graduated last year came by to see me. One to introduce me to his girlfriend--and let me know that he's going to be a dad in 7 months. One to just shoot the shit and then bum a ride.
My room is as done as it's going to get for now. I've hung the posters I made this summer that have all the punctuation rules on them. I've rearranged the desks 4 times. We don't have a custodian--just a "sweeper" so I've spent several hours dusting, washing walls and desks, vacuuming. Over the summer, something VERY unpleasant happened in the toilet. I don't know what or how, but I dumped a gallon of bleach in there yesterday and at least whatever it is doesn't seem to be growing anymore.
So--say a little prayer for me tomorrow. It's back to school time.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Say you're sorry...to yourself.
Sophie just accidently hit herself with a brush she was swinging around. She came up to me, and said in her best winey tattle-tale voice (that I think she's learning at school) "Mommy! I hit me."
Saturday, August 13, 2005
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