Saturday, August 20, 2005

I need to get out more

This afternoon/evening, Aunty Katy and I went on a little shopping trip. Because the shopping in our fair town is pretty much limited to Wal-Mart, we drove 45 miles south to St. George, our plan being to spend my Pier One gift certificate, find a b-day present for mom, and check out the Petco for some Jimmy toys.

The shopping was fine--uneventful even. Of course, I had a rough time at the pet store--because I'm a novice at shopping for dog stuff, and after wasting 30 minutes of Katy's life looking at squeaky toys, rolly toys, and bouncy toys, I purchased exactly zero toys. (I ended up with a greeny dog toothbrush-thing, and a gum massaging corn starch bone. Also, that dog buffet thing with all the dog treats and cookies and stuff kind of weirded me out. Am I alone in this?)

The true excitement happened when we went to grab a bite to eat before heading home. We went to Fazoli's (Italian!). I've been there a few times, and when the surly kid at the counter handed me this gigantic hokey puck thing with a number on it, I assumed it was so that whoever was bringing me my linguini could find my table. So there I am, casually contemplating the soda choices while filling my cup with ice, and the weird puck thing goes off like a freakin' roman candle! It's flashing--buzzing, vibrating, and I figure either the sky is falling, or I'm having some weird seizure that's localized in my left hand.

I didn't know whether to shit or go blind! My first impulse was that I needed to put it down--and fast. I took a couple steps toward our table, looking at Katy for some clue as to what the fuck was going on. Of course, I then realized that what I had in my hand was a truly obnoxious device designed to let customers, even catatonic ones, know that their food was ready to pick up. I franticly looked for a button to stop the flashing, buzzing, and beeping, but there was none. So I hurried to the counter, hucked the puck to surly kid 2, and grabbed my food.

This device, in my opinion, is a dire sign about the state of our culture. Surely it wouldn't be TOO much trouble for someone, say surly kid number 3 to bring my food to me? Or perhaps they could give me a number to listen for? Also, are people really so wittless and vacant that they need 3 of their five senses shocked in order to know that their five dollar pasta is ready?

Apparently I was the only one in the "restaurant" who was new to the scary buzzing hokey puck. No one else seemed to be surprised or mind it at all when jolted into action by said device.
I guess I need to get out more.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Watching "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves"

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
While we were shopping, Sophie stayed with my mom. After spending quite a bit of time in the sand box, she complained, as usual about the "sand in crack!" My mom tried to clean up the crack in question with a wipe. However, when we got home, there were still sand issues. Maybe she's trying to make a pearl.


amandak said...

"sand in crack" does really suck doesn't it?

Thanks for including me in on your shopping excursion, wish I could have been there in person.

As for the buzzing, flashing, beeping thing. They're fairly common around here in restaurants where you're going to be waiting for a bit for a table, but I don't think I've seen them in that kind of place, and just to let you know you need to pick up your food. Silly.

Madge said...

I've stumbled onto your blog by happenstance and it's a funny read - thanks for making my night!

lonna said...

Nice blogvertisements.

That hockey puck thing sounds really obnoxious, especially since you can't turn it off. Are they afraid that you might wait too long to get your food?

Sand in crack does sound mighty uncomfortable. Dermot only gets sand everywhere else. I can't tell you the number of times that I have had to wash his hair several times to get all of the sand out.

Keep us updated on that pearl:)

grody jo-dee said...

yes the dog buffet bar is weird. the funniest thing i ever saw there was a guy with some huge canine (who couldn't control it) went past, and the dog literally pulled down the whole jar of pigs ears and ate like 20 in 3 minutes. i think it was an expensive trip to petco for that man. :)

i had no idea they were now using those buzzy light things in FAST FOOD places...i mean places where you might actually have to wait is one thing, but fazoli's? i suspect it's so the surly kid can be even MORE lazy. because there's no laziness like fast food laziness (and the worst is the drive thru).

Jen O. said...

I'd never heard of this Fazoli's place you speak of. Around here, the only choice for fast-food Italian is good ol' Sbarro.

I went to the Cheesecake Factory once, at the King of Prussia Mall. Even though the place is the size of a convention center, we had to wait for seating. They gave us a pager. The problem was, if you left the premises (to go to the mall or outside or whatever), the pager wouldn't work. WTF? What's the point of that?

patrice said...

I too haven't seen those things for fast food type places, but have had them for restaurants. trent loves them. that's the only upside - if sophie is ever with you, you can tell her to watch it and let you know when it goes off. trent would just stare at it and be occupied for like 15 minutes with taking care of it and checking to see that it didn't go off. then when it does - look out. he'd like jump up and down and get all excited. (we've had these here for quite a few years, as trent wouldn't be caught dead jumping up and down anymore.)

I fear sand in crack.

Katy said...

And why give us both little pager things? Trying to spread the madness or something? And it's not like Fazoli's is huge or anything, I'm pretty sure they could find us. I liked the good ol days when they'd give you a little plastic number and then come find you. Now it's, "Not only do you have to come get your food, we're gonna scare the begeezes out of you while you do it."

Stine said...

That little contraption only proves my point further, they ARE watching.

KATIEmagic said...

I've only seen those vibrating orbs used for when you have to wait at a crowded restaurant so they can tell you your table's ready without actually walking outside. But for fast food (Oh how I love Fazoli's!)? Methinks that's a little much.