Monday, July 04, 2005

Shit! Shit! Shit! God Damn!

A few days ago, when her water wings weren't working at the public pool, Sophie said, "Shit! Shit! Shit! God Damn!" My mother was there. Ouch. The look that crossed her face (my mom, not Sophie) was a perfect blend of horror and hilarity. And where, you might ask, did Sophie learn to say "Shit! Shit! Shit! God Damn!"? That would be me, of course.

As you may well imagine, I've been trying to watch my mouth since then. Apparently I've been using the word "freakin'" a lot: as in, "Get out of the freakin' way!" to slow driving motorists. How do I know I've been saying "freakin'" a lot? Not because I'm self-aware. I try very hard not to be, actually. It's because Sophie has said the following things today.

When is it my freakin' birthday?
This pizza needs some freakin' cheese!
Where's my freakin' Cheer Bear?
I peed in my freakin' panties!

As an English teacher, I can say that it's quite clever that she figured out that "freakin'" is an adjective, and that it always comes right before the noun. As her mother, I'm pretty freakin' appalled. (Hmmm. "appalled" is an adjective, so if "freakin'" is modifying "appalled," it's an adverb in that sentence.)

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Playing hide and seek
Today's worst thing about being a mom:
All of your bad habits are put on display in the form of your child for everyone to see.


Jen said...

That is one of my worst fears about having kids. I work in a male dominated profession and have learned to curse like a sailor to fit in. It is really hard to "turn it off."

My kid would be in detention every day and it would be all my fault!

Katy said...

I was at the pool and it wasn't that bad. It was worse when Sophie was in the tub, filled the bubble bath bottle with water and asked Grandma if she wanted a beer. Plus coming from her it's always hilarity. Next time just blame Erik.

Evelyn said...

Good thing she didn't say, "Want a freakin' beer?" :)
Have a freakin' good day! :)

patrice said...

the pizza invariably always needs more freakin cheese, sigh.

fantastic blogging. I love it!

btw, to jen up there, I have a mouth like a truck driver, too, but you do wind up turning it off pretty easily. even my husband can do it. except when driving - then it is next to impossible to stop the f bombs from dropping. ah well. right after, I always tell trent "sorry trent. don't ever say that until you're 18."

NME said...


I say "fuck" ALOT. IT's really the only curse word I use regularly. And by regularly I mean constantly. I haven't curtailed it yet - and so it's entirely possible that it will be Noah's first word. And then I guess I'll learn to curtail it real fast. Good golly!

Stine said...

Oh. my. freakin'. hell.

Where's my freakin' Cheer Bear indeed.

TD said...

I thought you should know that while Todd and I aren't sure we want children of our own, we agree that we'd be interested in borrowing Sophie for a while.

She's like old Muppet Show episodes (and the occassional Pixar flick): kid friendly and entertaining for adults.