Thursday, July 27, 2006

RIP Kenmore

It took me a long time to finally let go. I've been clinging for months to the idea that it might get better. But today, I finally had to face up to the truth.

My dishwasher is dead.

Even my usual process of spinning around three times, saying the proper incantation, propping up the open door with my shin while gingerly loading the glasses in the broken top rack, praying it won't all fall to pieces has stopped working. It is officially twice as much work to load the dishes as to just wash them by hand. I surrender.

I LOVE my dishwasher. I put everything in it: light fixtures, plastic toys, storage bins. If it fits in there and needs washed, in it goes. But now, sigh, my dishwasher is dead.

So I climbed up on the counter and peeled my dish drainer off of the top of the cabinets, hosed it down (literally), and hand washed this morning's dishes. I'm seriously going to have to institute a one glass rule--every one gets one glass per day, and that's it. I swear it seems like Erik and Soph are in a contest to see who can have the most drinks from the most glasses.

I HATE doing the dishes. As far as household chores, it's the one I hate the most. Well, I really hate scrubbing the bath tub--but that's not an every day thing. In fact, it's embarrassing to tell you how often I do clean the bath tub, so I won't. Sweeping I hate, but mostly because I have to move all the rugs and can never find the dust pan. Vacuuming hurts my back so I can pawn that one off on Erik pretty easily. Laundry isn't TOO bad. I just hate lugging it up and down the stairs. Folding laundry is a nice excuse to watch trash TV without guilt. But dishes. Fuck dude. No TV. Smelly. My shirt gets wet. Soph always gets in some kind of trouble. Dishes also have such a time table. Skip for a day or two, and you're completely fucked.

My mom and dad made us start doing dishes at age 8. By the time all 3 "big" kids (sorry Katy) were 8, we had the dishes broken into 3 jobs. Clearing, rinsing, and loading. Clearing was the job we all wanted, and we were supposed to rotate, but somehow, my little brother Jon always ended up with that sweet job. He'd clear the table, one fucking fork at a time, keeping Mandy and I waiting until we'd just go and do it for him. The clearer was also in charge of counter wiping, but as that little fucker is in possession of a wiener, he never did that either. (Sorry, but really, most men just don't wipe off the counters. I'm sure all you metrosexuals do, but really, you're the exception.) Rinsing was the worst job, as it involved actual scrubbing and water. Plus, I think my mom mostly looked at the dishwasher as a sterilizer, and she insisted that the dishes that were loaded into it were basically clean already. Loading was ok, but you always ended up being the last one out of the kitchen, so that kind of sucked.

So--now I'm dishwasherless. Pity me.

Today's best thing about being a mom:
Having chocolate milk available to put in my coffee

Today's worst thing about being a mom:
Whining. And whining. And whining some more.


Heather said...

Uggg!! You must raid Sophie's college fund and get another dishwasher!! Some things are just more important than college, it will be good for her to learn sacrafice early!! (J/K)

No really, I feel your pain. When I was little my sister and I had to wash the dishes by hand. When my dad re-did the kitchen he asked my mom if she wanted a dishwasher and she said what for? I already have two.

We also did without one for three years at our house now and you are right. Let things go for a day (or maybe 30) and you are just fucked!!

lonna said...

We have a dishwasher at the house we're buying and we're still looking into getting a better one since we use it so often. I feel your pain.

When I was little the dishes were split into loading and emtpying. I feel like I did a lot more loading than my brother did, but it may just be that it was more traumatizing. I couldn't stand having to touch all that wet, cold icky stuff. I am shivering just thinking about it.

thelyamhound said...

As the oldest of two boys, in a family where there's a long tradition of having kids almost solely for the purpose of creating a workforce (I kid . . . a little), dishes were always my territory (wiping the coutners was understood to be part and parcel of said task).

That said, I haven't had a dishwasher since moving out of my mother's home, and the dishwasher wasn't much of a convenience there, since the dishes had to be more or less spotless before entering the dishwasher (which apparently existed solely to polish and disinfect). I suppose the "drying" step that becomes necessary without a dishwasher (and the fact that a dishwasher holds two or three times as many dishes as a dishrack) makes a difference, but I really wouldn't know.

Personally, my least favorite housekeeping tasks are dusting (I hate to move things off of shelves and try to put them back on in any semblance of order) and making the bed (I've yet to have it demonstrated to my satisfaction that there's really any point).

Missuz J said...

Ly--I really was just bating you (well, and my husband).

Also, I hate dusting so much I don't even mention it, because I simply don't do it.

Katy said...

I remember when I lived in SG our apartment didn't have a dishwasher. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal because there were only two of us, how messy could we be. Well it wasn't a case of how messy we could be, it was how lazy we could be. Apparently we could be very lazy. Very very lazy. Which added up to even though there was just the two of us, every dish in our house was in the sink. Crammed into the sink, and the smell... Oh. My. Hell. Don't get me started. I think we ended up just throwing it all away and buying paper plates.

~A~ said...


That is just wrong.

Please tell me this is just a bad dream and that the dishwasher is just fine.

thelyamhound said...

Also, I hate dusting so much I don't even mention it, because I simply don't do it.

Oh, neither do I. I had to do it every week growing up, and my mother was a tough post-job inspector.

I also had to clean the bathroom, but, for some reason, that one doesn't bother me these days.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

Dishwasher free for 3 years now. Well actually just haven't used it for 3 years now - it is a horrible excuse for a DW - had to clean the dishes to place them in it to come out with soap scum that had to be washed off - so decided if I'm washing anyways .......

But I can feel your pain - I could NEVER have survived without one when the kids were home! Hopefully someone will upgrade their dishwasher and give you their perfectly good one!

patrice said...

it was in my wedding vows that sean would do the dishes. you can imagine how things are now that he's gone.

actually, I'm doing pretty good. but one sentence in particular reverberated with me: Skip for a day or two, and you're completely fucked.

that is the WORST.

Wendy said...

Great post. I can visualize it all. Our dishwasher broke last week. I was heartbroken, as well. Turns out ($140 later) that some important part was broken due to (so says Mr. Repairman) not scraping the food off the plates well enough. Argh. Well, it works now. I'm so sorry - I do feel your pain.

patrice said...

ps. Ken More is my refrigerator's name. we call him Big Black, though.